phoenixnz (phoenixnz) wrote,


 I really wish one of my flatmates would stop baiting me. 

Last night, there was a news item about fluoridation and some study which suggested putting fluoride in the water caused a lowering of I.Q. I don't believe in this study. I think it's rather irresponsible to make such a claim. 

Anyway, I mentioned I had done one of those online I.Q. tests. Yes, I know they're clickbait, but I was curious and this was more than 10 years ago. The result of the test said I had an I.Q. over 140. About the same as Einstein. 

Well, my flatmate says: "I don't believe your I.Q is that much. Otherwise, why aren't you in a high-paying job, etc etc."

People who say things like that piss me off. Believe me, I have asked myself a hundred times why, if I'm so intelligent, am I still not working? 

But let's look at the facts. Einstein was a patent clerk before he made his breakthrough. Hardly the kind of job for someone with above average intelligence. 

I'm sure I've heard of a couple of people with genius-level intelligence who have struggled with unemployment and even homelessness, so I don't think I'm alone.

Here's also why I think things have not worked out for me: Because people like my flatmate are so threatened by me, or so jealous of me, that they feel the need to push me down. Intelligence and low self-confidence do not mix well. 

I've been in jobs where people have said to me: "You're so smart. You should be managing this place." Yet I continue to be pushed down. I think part of it is because I've got more integrity than other people and I guess that makes them feel I'm a doormat. Like my flatmate. She's probably jealous and projecting because she is dying and has really not achieved anything in her life. 

It's really starting to bug me that she's like this. I need to move out of here, but I have no idea where to go. I've already put my name down at the local council for a one-bedroom flat, and I've asked my case manager to put me in touch with the government housing assistance programme. I know there's a huge waiting list, but there aren't a lot of small places around that are affordable. 

The longer I stay here, the more risk I'm taking of going backwards, undoing all the progress I've made in my depression. 

Anyway, if you can, please do me a favour and ask the universe to help me out. 
Tags: flatmates
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