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The Truth About Men and Women 54/74

Author: Phoenixnz
Fandom: Smallville
Genre: Romcom,Drama, movie knock-off, AU
Rating: R (for innuendo, although there may be smut later)
Pairing: Clark Luthor/Lois Lane
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, not even the AU ones, or the movie this one is based on. Some situations from the movie The Ugly Truth are borrowed for effect, but with a Smallville spin on them.
Feedback: Yes please
Art: dream_infinity0

Summary: Lois Lane is a dedicated journalist. So dedicated in fact that she has trouble with relationships. She is mortified when cable show host and womaniser Clark Luthor joins the Daily Planet as a columnist and he begins teaching her the truth about male/female relationships. From his angle anyway.


Chapter Fifty-Four

Clark had known that as soon as the paper hit the newsstands the media would come out in full force. He had hoped to take Lois out to a nice quiet dinner but as soon as they’d stepped out of the car, the flashes had gone off. Even Cat Grant could be spotted in the crowd.

Lois frowned at him as he handed the keys to the valet, glancing at the reporters and photographers.

“How did they even know we’d be here?” she asked.

Clark shrugged, adjusting his glasses.

“Just ignore them, darling,” he told her. She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Clark was a little puzzled until he realised what he’d said. Lois nudged him and grinned.

“I really have converted you into a sap,” she smirked. “No one’s ever called me darling before. I like it.”

“Good, I do too,” he smiled. “Come on. I’m starving.”

“Gee, why am I not surprised?” she snorted. “You’re a bottomless pit.”

“Hmm, well, let’s see, I did spend all day making love to my beautiful fiancée. I think I deserve a good dinner.”

“Ooh, keep that up and you just might score a few more points,” Lois laughed, squeezing his hand.

He paused, looking her over. Lois was wearing a white dress that hugged all her curves in the right places. Her dark chocolate hair was softly curled and up in a loose knot and aquamarine studs adorned her ears. She was so beautiful it took his breath away.

Clark guided her before him toward the door of the restaurant. Une Cuisine Raffinée boasted some of the finest French cuisine in Metropolis and it was so exclusive it only had about twenty tables. The Luthors had had a permanent reservation at the restaurant for as long as Clark could remember, although he had only used it once or twice himself.

There were calls from some of the paparazzi for comments on their engagement, but Clark gently guided Lois inside through the waiting door, smiling at the doorman.

“Thank you,” he said.

“My pleasure Mr Luthor sir. May I say congratulations to your and your beautiful fiancée?”

“You may. Thank you.”

They were greeted inside by the maitre d’hotel, who beamed at them.

“Welcome, Mr Luthor. Miss Lane. Your table awaits.”

Lois looked uncertain. “You didn’t, uh, happen to kick anyone out?”

“Non mademoiselle,” the man explained. “Mr Luthor’s family has always had a standing reservation here. The owner is family.”

“Family?” she asked, looking at Clark.

“He was my mother’s cousin,” Clark told her, although Lillian had had very little to do with the man, who had moved to France as a young boy and had trained at the Cordon Bleu.

“Your brother was here last week,” the other man confided. “Having dinner with that lovely lawyer.”

Figures, Clark thought, that Lex would pull out all the stops to impress Mayson. He really had been out of the game a while.

He heard the commotion outside from the waiting paparazzi and turned back to the maitre d.

“Would you mind asking the manager to stop by our table?” he said, handing the man a bill.

“Of course, sir. I will show you to your table.”

They followed him to a secluded corner. Clark was pleased to see it was fairly private, as well as intimate. The man stood behind Lois as she sat, pushing her chair closer.

“Would you care to see the wine list, Mr Luthor?”

“No, thank you, but if you could bring out your best champagne.” He turned and took Lois’ hand. “We are celebrating after all.”

“Of course.”

The man turned away, leaving them to face each other. Lois looked extremely impressed by the restaurant.

“You know, I’ve heard people are on the waiting list for months to get into this place.”

“My parents would come here a lot,” Clark confided. “I used to think Lionel did it because he loved my mom. Now I think he only came here because he’d done something bad and was trying to make up for it.”

Lois nodded. “That sounds like him.”

“I want you to know I would never do that,” he told her. “I mean, I didn’t do this to impress you, it’s just, well, the cuisine here is simply amazing.”

“So, uh, have you brought anyone else here?” Lois asked, but before Clark could answer her, the manager approached their table. He spoke in a thick accent. Clark knew the owner only wanted authentic French staff and had recruited from all over France.

“Mr Luthor, it is a pleasure to see you here. How may I be of service to you this evening?”

“Would you care to explain how the press knew we were going to be here? I only called early this afternoon to ensure there would be a table for us.”

The man had the grace to look ashamed.

“Yes, I am afraid it was one of our wait staff, Mr Luthor. He has been dating one of the photographers from the Inquisitor.”

“Which one?” Lois asked.


“Which photographer? I know them both.”

“Uh, Rand.”

Clark frowned at her. “What is it, Lois?”

“Rand is a user. He takes advantage of others just to get stories, then brags about it to other photographers. I suspect your waiter was naive enough to believe that Rand actually liked him, when, I think what really happened was that son of a bitch thought he might get a few shots of local celebrities so he could sell them to magazines.”

“The waiter will, of course, be fired,” the manager promised.

“No, let’s not be too hasty,” Clark told him. After all, it wasn’t the kid’s fault if Rand had really been using him. “Look, based on what Lois says about the photographer, I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, we have ways of getting to the truth. Please don’t make him lose his job because of one little slip.”

“Very well, Mr Luthor. In the meantime, I will arrange for the two of you to leave by the back entrance after your dinner, which will, of course, be on the house.”

“Nonsense,” Clark told him. “I appreciate the thought, but I pay my own way.”

The wine waiter approached the table with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket.

“A nineteen seventy-three Dom Perignon,” he said.

“Thank you,” Clark said politely, watching as the man poured the champagne into flutes and returned the bottle to the ice bucket. He nodded and left. Clark raised his glass. “To my beautiful fiancee,” he said.

“To us,” Lois answered, lightly touching her flute to his so the crystal made a clinking sound.

Clark soon noticed a few stares from the other diners, but chose to ignore them. The fact that he was the adopted son of one of the most powerful families in the city did not give him licence to act like it, he thought. He knew it was a big change from the arrogant teenager he had once been, but learning exactly who the man who had adopted him was and training with Jor-El had made him realise that money did not equal power.

Still, he knew that now he and Lois were getting married, it was going to be something that went with the territory. She would soon have to get used to, as someone had once called it, ‘life in a fishbowl’. Clark wondered if perhaps she would have been better off with someone else, but he loved her and couldn’t imagine life without her now.

Lois squeezed his fingers.

“You okay?”

“Just thinking,” he said.

“About what?”

“Just wondering, actually, if you’re okay with all of this.”

“What, you mean being on the fast track to fame and fortune?” She grinned, clearly teasing. Clark rolled his eyes.

“You know what I mean, darling.”

“Clark, I knew what your life was like before we even started dating and I know it will only get even more intense when we do get married, but you know what? I don’t care. They can just go lump it because I’m marrying the man I love. I know it’s not all going to be moonlight and roses. I’ve never believed in fairytales, and I’m certainly not going to be Snow White to your Prince Charming. I know there’s no such thing.”

He grinned back at her, sipping his champagne.

“I seem to recall a certain conversation where you said you were holding out for Mr Perfect.” He frowned. “How did that go again?” He spoke in a falsetto. “My perfect guy loves to take walks in the rain and he’ll take me to a monster truck rally, or out to a romantic dinner.”

Lois slapped his arm, glaring at him. “You would remember that. Besides, you’ve managed two out of three,” she added with a smirk.

“Mind you, you still have to hold up your end of the deal.”

“What deal?” she frowned.

“One monster truck rally for a football game.”

“It’s not even football season yet, Luthor. There’s still time.”

“Well, just as long as you don’t try to wriggle out of it,” he said.

“A deal’s a deal,” she said with a shrug.

Clark laughed, picking up his menu to peruse the dishes. The manager changed the menu every so often, just to keep the selection fresh. He finally decided on French onion soup as a starter, then Coq au Vin, with fresh fruit salad for dessert.

“Mm, that sounds good,” Lois murmured when Clark told her what his choices were. “I think I’ll have the same.”

A waiter came over to take their order. The young man was probably about eighteen, with chocolate brown skin and a stocky build. Clark realised as soon as the waiter smiled nervously that this was the kid who had been taken in by the photographer. Lois, astute as always, clearly came to the same conclusion.

“Are you the kid who told the photographer we would be here?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Uh,” he began.

“Yeah, I thought so,” she said. “Listen, uh, what’s your name?”

“Ben,” he said miserably.

“Listen, Ben, I know Rand and he is the biggest jerk on the face of this Earth. He is a user.”

“I thought he liked me,” the young man wailed. “I only told him all that stuff because he said he could get me an internship at the Inquisitor.”’

It was clear he was a student in college and was only working as a waiter to make ends meet.

“You’re interested in being a reporter?” Clark asked.

“Yes sir. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to be since I left Smallville.”

Clark leaned forward, interested.

“Wait, Smallville?”

Ben nodded. “Yes sir. I went to Smallville High. You were there with my cousin. I mean, you were a senior and he was a freshman, but ... he’s a lawyer.”

“What’s your cousin’s name?” Lois asked.

“Pete. Pete Ross.”

Clark looked the boy over. He’d liked Pete when he’d met him in Lex’s office. Lana had told him Pete had gone to Smallville High, but Clark hadn’t remembered him then.

“Look, I can’t promise anything,” Clark said, “but I can talk to my brother. Now that he’s the owner of the Daily Planet, I might be able to pull some strings. You’ll have to prove yourself, though. It’s not going to be a free ride.”

The kid’s face brightened and Clark knew he’d done the right thing.

“Oh, thank you, sir,” the kid gushed. “I’m really, really sorry about the whole paparazzi thing. I really didn’t know he was going to do that.”

“Well, let it be a lesson,” Clark told him gently. “Next time, try not to be so trusting.”

“Yes sir,” the teen nodded enthusiastically. He looked up, frowning slightly. Clark glanced over in the same direction and realised the manager was gesturing for him to stop dawdling.

“Uh, so I should take your order now, Mr Luthor, sir.”

Clark almost laughed. The kid was completely in awe of him.

“Uh, may I ask you something?” the teen asked, after he’d written down the orders.


“What’s the Blur like? I mean, you write a lot of stories about him. Have you actually met him?”

“No,” Lois told him with a smile at Clark. “He calls us though.”

“Whoa! He’s amazing. You know, a lot of my buddies at school think the Blur’s from Smallville.”

“They do, do they?” Clark asked, trying to stifle his laughter. Ben grinned.

“Well, I better go,” he said. “I’m really sorry about what happened but I’m glad you’re not too angry.” He leaned forward and spoke conspiratorially. “You know, my sister ... she’s older than me. She’s gonna be so mad when she finds out you’re ... yanno, off the market. She has a huge crush on you. But I bet she’s gonna think it’s really cool anyway. She’s a huge fan of yours, Miss Lane.”

Clark burst into laughter as he looked at Lois, whose shoulders were shaking as she tried to stifle her own giggles.

When he could stop laughing, Clark realised why the young man had been taken in so easily. Growing up in Smallville, he had clearly been very sheltered. It must have difficult for him, being gay and living in a community that for the most part was extremely conservative. In ‘Bible Belt’ country, being gay was hardly cause for celebration. Clark had the feeling his family, if they were supportive of his sexuality, had done their best to protect the boy from the worst of it, but it had left him vulnerable to ‘predators’ like the photographer.

Lois grinned at him.

“Don’t even think of adopting another one,” she told him. “I think we’ve got our hands full with Maddie.”

“I feel bad for the kid, Lois,” he said.

“I get that, honey, I do, but you can’t go and rescue everyone, okay? Sooner or later he will have to learn there are people like Rand out there.”

“It’s what I do,” he said with a sigh.

“Clark, I love you and I love what you do, but you have to be realistic and realise that you can’t save everyone, even from themselves. It’s not going to be easy for him, God knows, but you can’t be there to hold his hand or protect him from idiots like Rand, anymore than he can be protected from the prejudices.”

“I know,” he told her.

“C’mere,” she said. “Squooch closer.”

“Squooch?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her as he moved his chair around to her side.

“It’s my word and I like it,” she said, putting her arms around his neck and planting a deep kiss on his mouth.

“You know what I love about you?” she said. “I mean, besides the fact that you’re handsome and very sexy,” she added flirtatiously.

“What’s that?”

“You refuse to just accept things. If you can change something, you don’t just stand back and wait for someone to take action, you do it yourself.”

“I could say the same thing about you, Lois. You’re incredible. You’re not just beautiful and talented, you’re a force of nature.” He kissed her. “Have I told you how glad I am I fell in love with you?”

She smiled, a tender look crossing her face.

“Yes, but I don’t mind hearing it again. I love you so much, Clark. I never thought I’d ever meet someone like you, let alone fall for one.”

Clark stroked her face gently, loving the intimacy of that moment. She really was an incredible woman.

He could hear the murmurs from the other diners at this public display of their affections, but he was beyond caring. He wanted to tell the entire world how much he loved Lois Lane. It seemed as if they had been destined for each other. In spite of how they’d behaved toward each other the first day they’d actually met, he had felt something click into place. Like he was where he was supposed to be.

The waiter brought over their soups and Clark moved his chair back. Lois smiled, her eyes bright even in the dimness. She sat back to allow Ben to place the napkin in her lap, nodding her thanks at him.

“Enjoy,” Ben said with a broad grin.

They ate and talked, just enjoying each other’s company. After Clark had paid the bill, true to his word, the manager had arranged for the valet to meet them at the back of the restaurant. The man grinned as he palmed Clark’s tip after helping Lois into the car.

“Have a great night, sir,” he said.

Lois chuckled. “I bet you get a kick out of them calling you sir all the time,” she said.

“You know it,” he laughed, closing the door and coming around to get in the driver’s seat.

“Thank you,” she said, giving him a kiss.

“For what?”

“For such a wonderful evening. You were right, the food was amazing!”

“Told you.”

“Mm, yes you did.” She was silent for a few moments, looking contemplatively out the window as he drove along the darkened streets to his apartment. “Clark?” she said, turning back to look at him.


“I was just thinking ... you know, before I met you I was almost resigned to never meeting someone who could match me; I mean, the guys I went out with always seemed to be intimidated by me and it was like, every date was an interview. Lucy always used to tell me that I gave guys the third degree. With you, it wasn’t like that. I mean, you were different. It was like you charged right in and didn’t take no for an answer. I might have hated it at first, but now I think it was what made me love you more. Because you saw me as a challenge.”

“Lois, darling, you are more than just a challenge to me. You ... I know it sounds kind of sappy, but you complete me. I used to think I would never find anyone who could be my equal, and I’m not talking about my abilities. It’s like you were saying earlier. I see the same thing in you. That passion to make the world a better place. I mean, you’re not idealistic. You know that the world can be a harsh place sometimes, but you still keep trying. That’s one of the many things I love about you.”

He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at her. Her eyes were shining.

“That’s not sappy,” she said softly, “because that’s exactly how I feel. I don’t think I ever felt whole until I fell in love with you.”

He turned back to the view in front of him, slowing the car to turn into the entrance to the underground parking. It seemed to take forever before they entered the darkened apartment. Lex had sent a text saying Maddie would stay at his place overnight so they had the place to themselves.

Clark held his fiancee’s hand as he walked with her into the bedroom. While Lois had been getting dressed for dinner a few hours earlier, Clark had set up the room with candles beside the bed, surrounded by rose petals, and soft cotton sheets. As he turned to light the candles with his heat vision, Lois put a hand on his arm.

“I don’t need candles,” she said softly. “We don’t need moonlight and roses, Clark. Baby, I just want you.”

Nodding, Clark slowly stripped her, removing the pins from her hair, curling his fingers in the long, lustrous waves as it fell past her shoulders. He slipped the straps of her dress down her arms, reaching behind her to unfasten the zip.

Lois gently pushed his hands away as her own fingers worked the buttons of his shirt, pushing the sleeves down his muscular arms. He kissed her hungrily, thrusting his tongue in between her soft, lush lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, moving closer to rub her body against his. Clark moaned softly, feeling his sex pressing against hers, the need to claim her, own her intimately urging him on.

Clark toed off his shoes, using one hand to undo his belt, letting his pants slip down past his thighs to pool at his ankles. He stepped out of them easily, gently propelling his lover to the bed. She lay on her back with a soft sigh, her arms still around his neck.

They kissed again with less fervour, less urgency but nonetheless still passionate.

“Oh Clark,” she moaned as he rolled onto his back to let her straddle him.

She moved down, pressing kisses down his naked, or almost naked body. He’d forgotten he was still wearing his boxers.

Lois smirked as she looked up at him.

“Tsk, tsk,” she said, shaking her head. “Well, you know what we’re going to have to do with those.”

Clark grinned as she pulled them down, watching as she threw them on the floor, then reached for her.

“Someone’s still overdressed,” he said, reaching for the nude coloured strapless bra. Lois again pushed his hands away, straddling his waist as she reached behind her, grinding down on him, teasing his hardness. She moved with agonising slowness to unhook the fastenings. Her breasts fell free as she tossed the bra to the floor.

Clark gazed at them hungrily. He felt his groin beginning to throb, his need for her drowning out all other thoughts. He sat up, his hands cupping her breasts as he licked her sweet skin. Lois threw her head back, undulating against him, her fingers curled in his hair, guiding him.

He rolled over again, kissing her torso, dipping his tongue in her navel until she cried out, begging for more. He slipped a finger beneath her soaked panties, pushing the band down to give himself unencumbered access to her. Lois’ moans increased as he continued down, thrashing in the bed as he thrust his tongue inside her.

“Clark! Oh god, baby please!”

He had always considered himself to be a skilled lover. He supposed it was arrogance to think that way, but then again, he’d learned a lot about sex from his brother, and that was not as dirty as it sounded in his head. Lex had taught him a lot about women. He knew how to treat a woman so she enjoyed herself, but he’d never pretended it was anything other than just sex and his own need to prove he was the best at everything he did.

Yet with Lois, it was so much more. It wasn’t just the intimacy of what they did together. It sometimes felt as if he was sharing a part of himself that he never shared with anyone else. It was like she knew him; knew how he thought, how he felt. He had opened up to her in ways that he had never opened up to even Lex.

He let her straddle him once more and she lifted her hips, leaning forward a little, moving until she was impaled on him, teasing him by moving with that agonising slowness that always drove him crazy. She had told him after the first night they’d made love that sometimes the slow burns were better than the more passionate encounters because it just made it that much more intense when she finally did release.

Her body shook through her climax, her inner muscles squeezing him, her head thrown back. He reached for her, holding her through the spasms until she came to rest beside him, laying her head on his chest as she fell asleep.

They returned to work on Monday, knowing the news of their engagement would be all over the building, but Clark didn’t care. It felt as if he had been floating on a cloud all weekend; without his super-powers.

The euphoria faded slightly when he saw Cat hovering just before the editorial meeting. He kissed Lois on the cheek and waited until she had gone into the conference room, then grabbed Cat’s arm, dragging her into the nearest empty office.

“Ow! Clark, what are you ...”

“Tell me you had nothing to do with what happened Saturday,” he said.

“I don’t know what you’re ...”

“Don’t play games with me, Cat. I saw you at the restaurant.”

“Look, I just heard you were going to be there through a friend of a friend.”

“This ‘friend’ wouldn’t be a photographer at the Inquisitor, by any chance, would he?”

Cat turned red. “Uh ...” If she was going to deny it, it was already too late. She frowned at him, trying to shake him off. “You know, you are a Luthor. I mean, you’re rich, famous ...”

“This is not about me,” he told her firmly. “Lois needs time to grow accustomed to being in the public eye and being ambushed like that was not only disrespectful to our privacy, it was disrespectful to a fellow staff member at this newspaper.”

“It’s my job,” Cat said, looking sulky.

“It won’t be for much longer if I catch you stalking us,” he told her. Cat looked alarmed.

“Uh ...” She then seemed to steel herself. “You’re bluffing.”

“No, I’m not. Trust me, while I’m not going to say anything to Lex about Saturday, if it happens again I will take it further and you can guarantee that you will be out of a job before you can even blink.”

“You know, I wasn’t the only one,” she began hotly.

“Lois and I will be dealing with the Inquisitor,” he said. “Don’t you dare try and wriggle out of this Cat. Blaming someone else for it won’t work. You could have chosen not to be there, but the fact is, you were. Don’t test me,” he added. “From now on, when I ask you to respect our privacy, I mean it.”

Grumbling, Cat left the office, eyes widening in alarm at Lex, who was standing in the doorway.

“How long have you been there?” Clark asked.

“Long enough to hear you threatening Cat. Clark, I hate to belabour the obvious but you know the paparazzi comes with the territory.”

“I know that, Lex, but Lois needs time to adjust. It’s hard enough for her with the fact that I’m ... you know ... of the, uh ...” He gestured with his hand. Lex nodded, understanding exactly what he meant.

“Still, I’m not sure threatening Cat was the right way to go about it,” he said as they entered the conference room. Perry was already on his soapbox, telling the assembled journalists a story about his days as a student protestor. He paused mid-sentence when Lex entered.

“Well, anyway, enough about that. Let’s hear what everyone’s working on.”

Halfway through the meeting, Lois pulled out her phone and frowned as she looked at it. She excused herself, giving Clark’s shoulder a squeeze. He followed her out, watching as she answered the call.


Clark was tempted to listen with his super-hearing but chose not to. The conversation was brief, but serious, judging from Lois’ expression.

“What is it?” he asked as she hung up.

“Slade’s just turned up. He’s dead, Clark. He’s been murdered!”



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 6th, 2013 10:10 pm (UTC)
GREAT new chapter Sweetie! Can't wait to read what happens next!
Feb. 7th, 2013 05:10 am (UTC)
Thank you hon.
Feb. 7th, 2013 01:33 am (UTC)
Whoa didn't expect that! Fantastic chapter honey!
Feb. 7th, 2013 05:11 am (UTC)
Glad I can still surprise you *g*
Feb. 7th, 2013 05:41 am (UTC)
Ah that was so lovely. And now its back to work for Lois n Clark. Nicely done. Loved the "hot scenes"... You created a beautiful intimacy between them. I meant to say in the previous chapter, your description of the colour of his eyes resembling that of those beautiful green lakes I remember admiring on my visit to NZ was just perfect. I really enjoy your writing.
Feb. 7th, 2013 07:06 am (UTC)
Thank you, that is such an awesome compliment. I really believe when writing love scenes between a couple they should be hot, yet intimate. I try not to write smut for the sake of smut if I can help it unless there is a purpose to it.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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