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The Truth About Men and Women 49/74

Author: Phoenixnz
Fandom: Smallville
Genre: Romcom,Drama, movie knock-off, AU
Rating: R (for innuendo, although there may be smut later)
Pairing: Clark Luthor/Lois Lane
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, not even the AU ones, or the movie this one is based on. Some situations from the movie The Ugly Truth are borrowed for effect, but with a Smallville spin on them.
Feedback: Yesh pleash
Art: dream_infinity0

Summary: Lois Lane is a dedicated journalist. So dedicated in fact that she has trouble with relationships. She is mortified when cable show host and womaniser Clark Luthor joins the Daily Planet as a columnist and he begins teaching her the truth about male/female relationships. From his angle anyway.


Chapter Forty-Nine

It was getting harder and harder to say goodbye, Lois thought. Clark had left Maddie in the car to walk her to her door and they’d spent the last ten minutes just kissing.

“I really wish you’d move in with me,” Clark said.

Lois played with the button on his shirt. “You know why I can’t,” she said.

Clark smiled. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

She grinned and gave him a quick kiss.

“Goodnight,” she said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I love you, Lois.”

“I know. I love you too,” she said.

Dreamily she opened her door and walked in. The cat rubbed himself against her legs and she bent down to pick him up, rubbing her face in his soft fur. He mewed plaintively.

“Okay, okay,” she said. “Let’s go find you some food.”

She carried him into the kitchen and rummaged in the cupboard for the cat food, putting it in a bowl for him. He looked up at her and mewed again, rubbing his face against her legs.

“You’re very affectionate tonight,” she said.

The cat purred and began eating. Lois watched him for a moment, then turned to go to her bedroom. She walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, stripping and getting under the warm water.

As she got out of the shower and wrapped her bathrobe around her, the phone rang. She went out into the bedroom to pick it up.

“Lois Lane.”

“Hello, Lois. It’s Martha.”

“Martha. How are you?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. We were wondering how you were. We hadn’t heard from you since Lena spent the day with us. How is she doing?”

“She’s getting there. Her father got her a kitten.”

“A kitten? Really?”

“It seems to be helping.”

“Well, good. It’s been a rough few days for her. Jonathan and I loved having her the other day.”

“Yeah, she talked non-stop at dinner the other night. I think she really enjoyed herself too.”

“And how are you and Clark?”

“He asked me to move in with him, but I’m not ready to. Not yet.”

“Take your time, sweetheart. It’s only been a few weeks. You need to really get to know each other first. You know, Jonathan and I dated for over a year before he asked me to marry him. When he did propose I turned him down. Twice.”

“Really? Why?”

“Oh, it’s not because I doubted my feelings for him. Or his for me. Oh, no, I knew the moment I set eyes on him that he was the one. But there were so many other things to consider. Jonathan and my father really didn’t get along. Well, my father was a lawyer and he just didn’t see any future in me being a farmer’s wife.”

“Fathers don’t change,” Lois chuckled. “My dad’s the same with Clark.”

“They only want what’s best for us. Trouble is, their idea of what’s best for us and our idea are two different things. The important thing is you love each other. And anyone can see that young man is crazy about you.”

“I’m crazy about him too. Is it wrong for me to want to wait?”

“No, sweetheart. Like I said, take your time. Enjoy being with each other without the pressure of worrying about the future.”

They talked for a little while about other things. By the time Lois rang off, the cat had joined her on the bed, purring as he settled next to her.

“Oh, I see. You want company tonight, huh? No girlfriends to chase?”

“Miaow,” he said, lifting his head for her to scratch under his chin.

She lay back, letting the cat curl next to her and reached for the remote to turn on the television. The phone rang again and she picked it up.

“Lois Lane.”

“Good evening, Miss Lane,” a voice said.

Lois smiled. “You know, anyone would think I had a superhero stalker,” she answered.

“I was out on patrol and I thought I should come by and check on you.”

“You know you don’t have to do that,” she said. “Besides, I have company.”

“Oh? Male company?”

“Matter of fact. He’s very good-looking and affectionate. He’s lying right beside me.”

“Hmm. Does this person have a name?”

Lois chuckled. “You sound jealous. Don’t be, you know. He doesn’t have a patch on you. Mind you, he’s probably just as jealous. He really doesn’t like sharing you know.”

Clark chuckled. “Well, you’re going to have to tell that cat that he will just have to get used to sharing you.”

Lois’ eyes widened as she realised he knew the cat was in the bedroom with her.

“Clark Luthor! Are you x-raying through my drapes?”

“What if I was? Would you punish me?”

“You are a very bad man, Clark Luthor,” she scolded.

“You shouldn’t tease then, Miss Lane.” He hesitated and Lois heard a siren. “I have to go,” he said.

“Sounds like a job for the Blur?” she said.

“Goodnight Lois,” he said softly, clicking off.

Lois grinned as she hung up the phone and lay back against the pillows.

When she got into work the next morning, Cat and Jeff were gossiping by the coffee pot.

“And then he said he wasn’t going to look like a geek,” Cat was saying. “And then Lex said ...”

“Lex said what?” Lois asked.

Cat turned around, staring at her.

“Oh! Lois, I didn’t see you there.”

“Lex said what?” she repeated.

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Your boyfriend and the boss were arguing this morning. Something about Clark having to wear glasses.”

“And what business is it of yours?” Lois asked.

“Come on, Lois, the whole building could practically hear them.”

“Hear what?”

Lois turned around. Clark had obviously entered the room quietly. If she hadn’t known it was him, she would have done a double-take. He was wearing the ugliest pair of horn-rimmed spectacles she’d ever seen. And he looked depressed at the very thought.

“Are those the ones the eye doctor gave you?” she asked sympathetically.

“Don’t even start, Lois.”

“Clark, they’re not that bad. Really.”

“I look like a geek,” he complained. “But Lex is making me wear them.”

“Well, it’s either that or your eyes get worse,” she said. “I’m not surprised Lex laid down the law.”

Clark sighed heavily. “Okay, okay, I get the message.”

Lois poured coffee for both of them, watching the looks of sympathy from Cat and Jeff. She led the way to her office, then closed the door behind Clark.

“I thought you weren’t going to put the plan into action so soon?”

“Yeah, but with all the backlash against the Blur and Green Arrow, Lex thought it was better sooner than later. And I had these in a drawer at home,” he said, taking off the glasses and putting them down on the desk.

Lois picked them up and looked them over. There was a slight distortion as she looked through them.

“How come you had them?”

“I had an accident when I was sixteen, trying to stop a guy robbing a store in Smallville. It’s a long story but I basically burned out my retinas.”


“Yeah, ouch is right.”

“Well, at least your little argument with Lex had the desired effect. No one’s going to question you suddenly wearing them.”

Clark nodded. “Anyway, we have to get to Watchtower. Bruce called me early this morning.”

“He doesn’t waste much time, does he?”


Clark grabbed the glasses, heaving his shoulders in a sigh, and put them on. Lois grinned at him and leaned forward, kissing him on the cheek.

“Did I ever tell you I actually love geeks in glasses?” she said.

Clark growled. “I hope you don’t mean geeks plural,” he answered.

“No,” she assured him. “Only one geek does it for me.”

Holding hands, they walked out of the office and headed out toward the building known as Watchtower. It was an older building with a huge dome at the top and beautiful round, stained-glass windows.

They walked in through the double doors to find not only Bruce and Oliver, but also Bart, Victor, AC and his wife Mera, Dinah and another blonde girl Lois recognised from Slade’s board of known ‘vigilantes’. Clark looked surprised to see her.


“Hello Kal-El,” Kara said softly.

The two awkwardly hugged. Lois wondered what had happened between the cousins to make them so awkward with each other.

“Kara, this is my girlfriend, Lois Lane. Lois, this is my cousin, Kara.”

“Hi,” Lois said, shaking the girl’s hand. “We didn’t think you knew about this.”

“I’ve seen the reports,” the blonde nodded. “And Oliver tracked me down. He asked me to come.”

Lois couldn’t help but notice the look she sent Clark. It wasn’t exactly hostile, but it wasn’t friendly either.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” Clark said quietly and it seemed clear he was trying to make amends for whatever had happened between them in the past.

Oliver clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“What’s with the glasses?” he asked grinning as if he was thinking up some kind of caustic remark to tease his friend.

“Lois thinks the Blur needs to, uh, come out. Especially given what’s happened.”

“It’s not a bad idea,” Bruce said. “But how are you going to stop people recognising you?”

“Lex is going to work with Jor-El to come up with something,” Clark answered.

Clark walked to the other side of the room with Oliver and Bruce to explain the plan and Lois took the opportunity to talk to Kara.

“You know, I couldn’t help but notice the hostility,” she said. “What exactly did Clark do?”

“It’s nothing,” Kara said. “So you and Kal-El? I mean, Clark? How long have you been seeing each other?”

“A few weeks.”

Kara snorted. “I’m surprised it’s lasted that long. You know, Clark is ...”

“I know Clark’s reputation. He’s changed.”

“I doubt that,” Kara said, snorting again. “Clark is nothing but a hypocrite.”

“Why? What happened between you two?”

Kara looked at her evenly. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“It’s what makes me a good reporter,” she smiled.

“Did Clark tell you how we finally met?”

“Well, I assumed you came about the same time as Clark. When you were both little.”

The blonde shook her head.

“No. I mean, I did come at the same time as Clark, but I was a teenager when I came here. I think the Earth equivalent age is sixteen? Anyway, my body was in suspended animation. It was the only way I could have survived the journey from Krypton. My ship was damaged by a meteor rock and flung off course so it landed at the bottom of Reeves River, near the dam. It was stuck there for nearly twenty years until a severe flood dislodged my ship.”

Lois frowned. She remembered something from a few years earlier, when there had been rumours of a ship which had been found in the backwoods of Smallville, a day or so after an accident at the dam had caused major flooding. It could have been much worse except for the fact that, or so a small child had claimed, a super man had come and used some sort of heat ray to evaporate the water. Lois glanced at Clark, who was still talking with Bruce and Oliver, realising the child’s story had not been so far-fetched after all.

Lois herself had pursued the story of the ship, learning it had been taken by an agent of the Department of Domestic Security. A paranoid jerk by the name of Carter.

“That was your ship,” she gasped.

Kara nodded. “Because of what that agent did, it came very close to wiping out an entire county.”

“But I don’t see how that makes Clark a hypocrite,” she said.

“He kept lecturing me about not using my powers. About keeping a low profile.”

“Did you even ask him why?”

Kara looked at her. “Not really. Why?”

“Well, then maybe you should know that Lionel Luthor tried to exploit his powers. Use them against his enemies. Clark turned his back on his father because of it. And Lionel spent years experimenting on people affected by the meteors. Maybe Clark didn’t want you to become one of them. Anyway, Clark’s brother has been trying the same thing.”

“You mean Lex?”

“No. Their, I mean, Lex’s half-brother, Lucas.”

Kara frowned, turning her head to look at Clark.

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Did you ever give him the chance? Look, I know Clark could be an ass at times, and yeah, even when I first met him, he was pretty arrogant. But Clark’s had to put up a lot of walls to protect himself. But he’s trying to be more open. Maybe you should give him that chance. Besides, you’ve both lost your real family. I mean, it must be lonely, having no one else of your kind around.”

Kara nodded. “You’re right, Lois. I guess I at least owe him that. We are cousins.”

Lois smiled at the girl. She was relieved she had managed to at least get some of her message across. She watched as Kara approached Clark and the two of them talked for a few moments.

The double doors were flung open and Carter Hall walked in, along with a girl in her late teens. A tall man Lois recognised as detective John Jones followed them in.

“Carter,” Clark said. “I’m surprised to see you.”

“I’m shocked,” the older man said sarcastically.

“Hawkman,” the young blonde with him said softly.

“Hawkman?” Lois asked.

He turned a sharp blue-eyed gaze on her, but said nothing. The dark-skinned man smiled at her.

“Miss Lane,” he said, inclining his head.

“Detective Jones?”

“Not exactly,” he answered and for a moment his visage slipped to show what Lois could only describe as a green, glowing form and red eyes. She gasped and blinked. Jones appeared as human as before.

“What are you? A Vulcan?” she asked.

Jones laughed. “Martian, to be exact.”


It seemed funny that she could take all of this in her stride. Weeks ago she was sure she would have fainted, or something.

Oliver rubbed his hands together.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” he said, looking at Bruce. “You called this meeting.”

Bruce nodded. “Gather round.” He continued on without waiting for everyone to gather. “It’s clear we have a problem. Slade Wilson is already making headlines by coming out and saying that we are nothing but vigilantes. We need to start working together to prove Slade wrong and turn public opinion around.”

Lois scoffed. “One man’s opinion isn’t going to change the world!”

“Then you clearly haven’t been reading the papers,” Bruce told her. “Even your own. There have been editorials in newspapers all over the world calling for all so-called vigilantes to be taken to task by the world’s governments. This is not just an isolated thing.”

“It sounds to me like this is something that has been building for a while,” Clark said. “It seems too sudden, otherwise.”

“You’d be right,” Bruce answered. “And I think Carter is the one to answer that question.”

“That was thirty years ago,” Carter told him.

Lois looked at them. She knew about the Justice Society and what had happened to them after they’d refused to work for the government. But this was Slade Wilson. He was a military man.

“Even if there is a history, it doesn’t explain why Slade’s involved,” she said.

Clark looked at her. “Lois?”

“Well, I just mean there has to be another reason why Slade hates you all so much.”

“Lady’s got a point,” Bart said.

“You’re the reporter, Lois,” Bruce said. “Maybe you should check that out. See what you can find out from Slade’s background. In the meantime, I think we need to come up with a viable solution.”

“Well, what about Clark’s idea,” Oliver said. “Coming out of the shadows.”

“I wasn’t the one who thought of it,” Clark reminded them, smiling at Lois. “It was hers.”

“That’s all very well, but it won’t work for all of us.”

“Yeah, but I think boss man has the right idea,” AC said, glancing down at Mera, who was clutching his arm. “If he comes out, so to speak, and we’re all seen backing him up ...”

“Of course, you still need to build up the image with the public,” Dinah said. “They’re not going to instantly trust the Blur when he shows his face.”

That was true, Lois thought, but that was also something she could help with. Give them a little time, a crisis or two and it might sway the public opinion in their favour. AC seemed to be suggesting something a little more.

“I think what you’re suggesting,” Carter said, “is something similar to what we tried to do with the Justice Society. But do you really think that is what the public need, given the current climate?”

“Okay,” Lois said, thinking out loud. “I think what we need is time. Clark needs time to build up his new double identity and we need to figure out whether Slade has some kind of axe to grind.”

“There’s also the problem of the kids who have been part of Lionel’s - and Lucas’ for that matter – experiments,” Clark reminded her.

“What’s this?” Bruce asked.

“It’s part of the story we’re working on, and it’s connected to Slade. Lionel tried to get the military interested in his experiments with people who were meteor-infected. They turned him down, but Lucas tried the same thing with Slade,” Lois answered.

“Well, I’m not surprised that Lucas has tried to drum up the interest in the project,” Bruce mused. “Think about it. People with powers make the perfect soldier. If a scientist could come up with a way to harness those abilities and recreate them, our military would be unstoppable.”

“They may have already done so,” came Chloe’s voice through the monitor. “Sorry to interrupt the meeting guys, but I have been doing some digging of my own into a doctor Donovan Jamison. After I talked with you two yesterday,” she said, nodding at Lois and Clark, “I decided to see if I could track down this doctor. And he claims to have been able to come up with a formula which imbues normal human beings with super powers. It’s still not even at the prototype stage but word on the street is he is making it available to the highest bidder.”

Lois looked at Clark.

“I think we need to go pay the good doctor a visit,” she murmured.

Bruce nodded. “You may be right, Lois. But more importantly I think we all need a strategy.”

“You could always go underground,” Carter said with a smirk.

“And that worked so well for us,” Courtney Whitmore told him. The older man sent the teen a withering look.

“The only reason you’re part of this, Courtney, is because of Pat,” he growled. “You’re too young to even consider ...”

Courtney faced the man down. “You’re always going to think I’m too young,” she retorted.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Victor asked.

Lois frowned. She realised they hadn’t exactly got around to introductions.

“This is Courtney Whitmore, otherwise know as Star Girl,” Clark said. “Her stepfather worked with the Star Spangled Kid in the Justice Society.”

“What kind of codename is Star Spangled Kid?” AC asked.

“Oh yeah, like Aquaman is so much better.”

“Clam it, Impulse,” AC told Bart.

“How’d you like to be stuffed into a can like sardines?” Bart returned.

“Quiet small fry,” Victor growled.

“Why don’t you shut it, Tin Man.”

Lois groaned and rolled her eyes. The three squabbling men stared at her.

“My god, you’re like the Three Stooges,” she said.

Oliver wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Lois, these guys are what we call the Comic Relief.”

“Well, what does that make you?” Carter rasped. “Mr Green Jackass?”

“Well at least I have a sense of style, Tweety,” Oliver returned.

Oh no, Lois thought as the two men began to squabble. Bruce, Dinah, Kara, Mera and Chloe looked on with exasperated expressions. Finally there was a shrill whistle from Clark.

“Hey, could we all start acting like grown-ups and start thinking up some strategies to deal with this issue?”

The others had the grace to look shamefaced as Clark went on.

“Now Lois mentioned an idea yesterday and I think she might be on to something.We know how powerful the social media can be. It’s like Carter said. People rose to power because of propaganda. So why can’t we make it work for us as well?”

Bruce snorted.

“While you have a point about propaganda, Clark, I really don’t see myself having a page on Facebook.”

“Sure, maybe not Batman,” Lois answered, knowing full well Bruce already had his own Facebook page.

“I still don’t see Batman doing it,” Bruce returned.

“Uh, you don’t have to,” Chloe said. “There’s already a twitter page dedicated to the Blur. And Batman. And a lot of people have been tweeting their support for the Blur since the press conference.”

“We are not in this for the publicity, Chloe,” Bruce told her.

“Maybe not, but maybe it’s the only way to get a network going. I mean, how else are you going to find others like you out there? And it might be the only way to beat the naysayers like Slade.”

“I’ll consider it,” he told her sharply.

Lois couldn’t help but notice the look her cousin gave her boyfriend. She knew there had been a few arguments between them about Bruce’s commitment issues and she wondered if the sharp tones had something to do with that. Bruce clearly had his own way of doing things, but that didn’t make him in charge of the group either. If anything, she could see that the others turned more easily to Clark than they did Bruce.

“I think Chloe’s got a point,” Oliver said. “And it’s a pretty good bet someone like Slade will be using social media to his advantage. So why not us? I mean, it’s not about publicity-seeking.”

“I think we should table that idea until we have an idea of Slade’s real agenda,” Lois answered.

Clark nodded. “You’re right, Lo.” Everyone else nodded their agreement. Clark continued. “In the meantime, I think we should just keep doing what we do, getting out there and helping people. No matter what people like Slade say, we can’t let it change what we do and how we do it. People need us. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Bruce said.

They left Watchtower. Lois felt little had been resolved by the meeting but they at least had a place to start.

“Which do you want to do first?” Clark asked. “Go talk to Jamison or see what we can find out about Slade?”

“Let’s go see Jamison first,” she said.

Chloe had provided them with an address on Jamison. It was the basement of an apartment building downtown, not far from the Daily Planet. The only problem was there was no way to get in the building without a key.

Clark shrugged at her.

“Not an issue,” he said.

Lois glanced around, then watched as Clark used just a tiny amount of his strength and broke the lock.

“You come in handy,” she quipped.

She followed him into the building and down the stairs to the basement, waiting quietly as he knocked on the door.

“Dr Jamison?” he said when the door was opened.

The man was stocky, with thin grey hair and a bald pate. He looked at them warily.

“Is there something I can help you with?” he asked.

Before Clark could tell the man his name, Lois put her foot in the door.

“Lois Lane, Daily Planet. This is my partner. We’re working on a story involving a man named Lucas Dunleavy and some experiments with meteor rocks. We heard you might know something about it.”

The man tried to shut the door on them but only managed to hit Lois’ foot. She grimaced at the sharp pain in her foot but pressed on.

“I have nothing to say to reporters.”

“Really?” she said, pushing the door open as the scientist tried to turn away. “Well, I don’t buy the ‘no comment’. We know you were working for Lionel Luthor several years ago.”

The man’s eyes darted here and there and he was giving a pretty good impression of a caged animal. Lois felt Clark’s hand on her shoulder.

“Lionel Luthor has been dead for a year and I have no wish to dredge up past errors, nor speak ill of the dead.”

Clark spoke up.

“We heard you were working on more than meteor rocks,” he said. “We talked to a Dr Scanlan about my ... about Lionel’s liver disease and how he came to be suddenly cured.”

Jamison peered at him, frowning at the horn-rimmed glasses.

“You look a little familiar,” he said.

“I have one of those faces,” Clark returned.

“Look, you must understand, I was working under a lot of stress in those days. I ...”

“Just tell us how you managed to cure Lionel.”

The man knew he was cornered and he slumped his shoulders in defeat. He sighed, then began to talk. Lois listened closely, her hand on her recorder.

Jamison had been hired by Lionel after the scandal at NuCorp to study the effects of meteor rocks. About the time Clark was eighteen, Jamison was given a new project involving the meteor rocks. He was working with a team of scientists learning to clone bodies from live cells, using the meteor rock to accelerate growth.

As soon as they had had a viable clone, albeit not a fully sentient one, Lionel had ordered Jamison to harvest the liver.

So that explained it, Lois thought. Lionel had grown a clone and had the organ transplanted into his own body.

But there was a problem, Jamison explained. The liver from the clone, while free of disease, had not been wholly compatible with Lionel’s body and he was forced to inject himself once a month with an anti-rejection agent. But unlike other drugs made available to other transplant patients, this one had been manufactured using blood platelets.

“Where did the clone come from?” Clark asked Jamison.

The other man shook his head.

“I don’t know. But rumour has it the DNA came from one of Luthor’s own sons.”

Lois continued to try to push the man for answers on the experiments with the meteor-infected but Jamison had clearly said all he was going to say.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 7th, 2012 10:19 am (UTC)
Absolutely LOVE this newest chapter hon!!

Really missing ya.
Jul. 7th, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon. I'm glad you liked the chapter.
Jul. 7th, 2012 01:33 pm (UTC)
Oh shit could there be a clone of lionel somewhere out there. We all know either clark or lex blood could have healed him. Can't wait for more it was a really good chapter I loved all the in fighting! :D
Jul. 7th, 2012 06:55 pm (UTC)
No, there's no clone of Lionel out there. I'll let you in on a little secret. The DNA came from Clark. That's why the blood platelets worked.
Jul. 12th, 2012 12:53 am (UTC)
Ha! I had guessed correctly. The blood was fom Clark. I think I may have to friend you, I came upon this sequel by chance! :)
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:14 am (UTC)
It was always in the plan for the blood to be Clark's.

Friended you back. Sorry, I forgot to PM you to tell you I'd updated :)
Jul. 13th, 2012 01:11 am (UTC)
Absolutely no apologies needed. My oversight. But it won't happen again! :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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