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The Truth About Men and Women 40/74

Author: Phoenixnz
Fandom: Smallville
Genre: Romcom,Drama, movie knock-off, AU
Rating: R (for innuendo, although there may be smut later)
Pairing: Clark Luthor/Lois Lane
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, not even the AU ones, or the movie this one is based on. Some situations from the movie The Ugly Truth are borrowed for effect, but with a Smallville spin on them.
Feedback: Yesh pleash
Art: dream_infinity0

Summary: Lois Lane is a dedicated journalist. So dedicated in fact that she has trouble with relationships. She is mortified when cable show host and womaniser Clark Luthor joins the Daily Planet as a columnist and he begins teaching her the truth about male/female relationships. From his angle anyway.


a/n: Apologies. I've been occupied the last couple of days and haven't had much writing time. Or posting time, for that matter.

Chapter Forty

Clark chuckled to himself as they left the studio. He’d loved teasing her, despite her threat of getting him back for it later. Before Lois, Clark had often used innuendo to either annoy or excite women. Of course, none of the women he’d done it to had got as riled as Lois had when they’d first met.

He still remembered the things he’d said to her during their brief phone conversation the night she’d called the show, and their verbal jousting. The question was, would Lois get just as riled now or would she have a completely different reaction? He couldn’t wait to find out.

The ride in the elevator was going to be interminably long. He would pick an apartment on the top floor of one of the tallest apartment buildings in the city. Then again, many of the tenants in the building were professionals with mostly six-figure incomes. And they tended to be people he couldn’t afford to find out he was the Blur.

As soon as the doors closed on the elevator, Clark looked at Lois. She’d been quiet on the way over. Probably wondering just what he had planned. She gazed back at him curiously.

“What do you say to a sneak preview?” he asked softly.

Lois snickered, but he noticed she didn’t resist at all when he swung her around in his arms and pushed her up against the wall of the elevator.

“So this is why you decided to take the elevator instead of super speeding up,” she murmured.

He grinned. “All the better to have my wicked way with you,” he said.

“Nice alliteration, rich boy, but so far I’m only getting all talk and no action.”

“You want action?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. “How’s this for action?” he added, claiming her lips with his.

“Mm, not bad,” she returned against his mouth.

He pulled her tighter against him, letting her feel his hard body. Lois put her arms around his neck. He kissed her again, thrusting his tongue in her mouth. Lois moaned softly beneath him. He deepened the kiss, not letting up until she pushed him away, breathless.

Clark frowned at her, then realised the lift was open. He grinned sheepishly.

“Saved by the bell,” he told her.

Lois rolled her eyes and walked out of the elevator car, waiting for him to catch up. He took out his keycard and swiped it, opening up the door.

“Ladies first,” he said, waving his hand.

Of course, now he’d got her here, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with her. Normally when he’d been with a woman, they’d have had a couple of drinks on the couch before moving to the bedroom. Of course, there had never been any seconds with other women. Most of them had been one-night stands.

He started to move toward the kitchen.

“Want a drink?” he asked.

Lois didn’t answer. He turned and looked for her. She had moved to his sound system and was looking through his collection of CDs. Clark liked classical music but he also enjoyed some soft rock.

“Air Supply?” Lois asked with a sardonic lift of her eyebrow.

“They have some good songs,” Clark defended mildly.

“Duran Duran? Aren’t they English?”

“Your point being? Anyway, don’t rag on my taste in music. I don’t comment about Whitesnake!”

“Touche Luthor,” she grinned. “I just thought it was unusual, that’s all.”

“I happen to think my tastes are eclectic. Although I refuse to listen to hip hop.”

Lois rolled her eyes. “Ugh! At least we agree on that,” she said.

She picked out a CD and opened the cover. Clark couldn’t see from his angle what the CD was and waited as she inserted it in the CD player. Clark recognised it as soon as he heard the opening beats.

Nights in white satin, never reaching the end
Letters I’ve written, never meaning to send
Beauty I’d always missed with these eyes before
Just what the truth is, I can’t say any more

Cause I love you, yes I love you, oh, how I love you

“God, my mom loved that song,” he said quietly.

His mother had had a beautiful singing voice and she’d often sung to him. Sometimes he would curl up on a window seat as the song would play, watching her as she became lost in the music, her red hair gleaming brightly in the sunlight from the huge picture window in the drawing room.

But when Lillian had become pregnant, there was no more music in the house. She had retreated into a dark depression.

“She had an LP of the band, but this was the only song of theirs she’d ever play.”

“What happened to it?”

“Dad destroyed it when she died. I don’t remember much music in the house after she was gone.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, reaching for the CD player. “I didn’t mean to bring up sad memories.”

Clark grasped her wrist, stopping her.

“No, don’t,” he said. “It’s not a sad memory. It reminds me of when she was happy. My mom was beautiful. And kind, so kind. It was only when he was around that she stopped being happy. But she loved me and Lex, so much. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t her natural child. She loved me as much as she did Lex. We were her boys.”

Clark smiled at the memory. Lex had been home from school and Lionel had been away on a business trip. His mom had put on some music and pulled a reluctant Lex up to dance. He’d made a face, but they had laughed so much that afternoon, finally flopping down on the rug. Then his mother had announced to the staff that she was taking her boys out for the rest of the afternoon.

They’d gone to the movies. Just the three of them. Lillian hadn’t cared if it had got back to Lionel. They’d seen some silly movie that Clark couldn’t remember the name of, eating as much junk food as they’d liked until even Clark thought he’d be sick. It was the happiest Lex had ever been as well.

Lois laughed when he related the story.

“She sounds like an amazing woman.”

“She was.”

“You miss her.”

Clark nodded. “What about your mom?”

“She sounds a lot like yours. She was beautiful, smart, funny. She could even make the general laugh.”

“It must have been hard for you, when she died.”

“I didn’t see her in the hospital. She was there five weeks and I never visited her once.”

Clark sighed softly, brushing his thumb across her cheek.

“You were only a little girl,” he said. “It’s hard enough for even an adult to deal with, let alone a child.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I do wish I’d taken the chance to say goodbye to her. Tell her how much I loved her.”

“She knew,” Clark said.

He pulled her close, kissing her gently. The CD moved to another track and he swayed to the music. They danced around the room, lost in each other’s gazes.

It became an easy transition from there to the bedroom. Clark slowly stripped her and Lois stripped him in turn. They moved to the bed, still kissing. Clark lowered her onto her back, careful not to press his whole weight on her.

Lois grinned up at him, her arms around his neck.

“Seems someone was being very naughty earlier.”

“Really?” he said.


“Care to elaborate, Ms Lane?”

“Hmm, somebody was teasing me about dirty talk.”

“Does it get you all ‘hot and bothered’?” he asked.

“Well, I don’t know, since I’ve yet to see any evidence.”

Clark ran his hands along her sides, making her shiver in anticipation. He placed a kiss just above her clavicle.

“And you say I’m the naughty one. You, Ms Lane,” he said, pressing more kisses along her shoulder and down her arm, “seem to like teasing me with that sexy smile of yours. Like you know a little secret that you’re not telling.”

“Oh? I think it’s your turn to elaborate.”

“I seem to recall a hot little number at a certain gentleman’s club. Like the way those hot pants just gave me a peek at your sexy ass.”

“Oh yeah?” Lois gasped as he rocked his pelvis, letting her feel his erection against her sex. “Tell me more.”

“I wanted to slide my fingers underneath the crotch of those pants, then slide my finger right up inside. Like this,” he said, demonstrating by inserting one digit, his thumb on the swollen nub of skin.

Lois moaned softly. Clark could feel the moisture of her arousal, the heat of her inner walls.

“God, Lois, you feel amazing.”

“More,” she moaned.

“When you were giving me that lap dance, I wanted to rip those pants off you and fuck you then and there. The way you were teasing me ... if Victor hadn’t interrupted, I just might have.”

He’d been so hard that night, there had been no way he could have held off from climaxing. Much of her disguise had done little for him, but just knowing she was beneath the heavy make-up and the red wig had been enough.

He’d got her back for the lap dance straight after, but he’d been glad in a way, that Victor’s call on the comlink had interrupted them. He’d never wanted their first time together to be in that club.

“Oh god, more,” Lois demanded as he continued stroking her sex, feeling her arousal increase, his thumb rubbing in circles, causing her to shiver.

“Remember that night you went out for drinks with Oliver? We were fooling around and you grabbed my crotch. I was so hard that night, Lois, if you hadn’t left, I might never have let you go.”

Driving home with an erection would have been torture if he hadn’t quickly jacked himself off first. And the whole time he had been picturing her in the sexy dress she’d been wearing, thinking about her gorgeous figure underneath the dress. No other woman had ever had him so hard and so fast.

Lois was straining against his hand, pushing her pelvis up, clearly trying to get more friction.

“Please, Clark,” she begged.

“Tell me what you want,” he said softly.


“You have me.”

“You inside me. Please, I can’t ... I can’t ...”

Clark knew how she felt. He’d had to exercise a lot of control over himself with the knowledge of her beautiful body underneath him. He removed his hand from her and lifted himself up, taking his hard shaft in his hand to guide it slowly into her.

“Oh god, yes!” she cried.

Already her inner walls were squeezing him so hard that Clark thought he might pop. He continued pushing himself inside, filling her, but it still didn’t seem enough for her. Lois wrapped her long legs around him, pulling him in deeper until he cried out.

Burying his face in the juncture of her neck, Clark began to thrust hard, finding a rhythm that Lois quickly matched. He rolled over in the bed, lifting his head to kiss her as she settled on top of him, rocking her pelvis against him, taking him to heights he could never have imagined with anyone else.

Supporting her with his hands on her back, Clark let her control the pace, loving the feeling of her soft skin against him. Lois kissed him hard, her tongue mimicking the thrusts of her body. Her thrusts began to stutter as her climax approached and she finally cried out in sheer pleasure, flinging her head back.

Clark rolled onto his side, letting his softening member slip out of her. Lois was panting, her chest heaving as she tried to get her breath back. He brushed the damp strands of her long hair away from her face, kissing her briefly on the lips.

“Is that all you got?” she asked when she’d recovered.

Clark frowned at her. “What do you mean?”

“When you were teasing me about dirty talk ...”

“Baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“Gonna put your money where your mouth is?” she asked.

“You are a bad girl, Ms Lane.”

“Takes one to know one, Mr Luthor,” she said in a teasing tone.

Clark rolled her onto her back and began placing soft kisses along her torso, deliberately ignoring her breasts, knowing that would be the first place she’d expect him to go.

“Remember the night you called the show?” he said. “You told me you only tuned in because your cat had stepped on the remote. Do you know how many dirty images went through my mind?”

“Oh, paint me a picture,” Lois said, sarcasm in her voice. “I knew what you were doing.”

“When I realised who you were, believe me, the images just got dirtier. I had this fantasy of you coming down to the studio to have it out with me. You’d be standing there in front of the desk, looking cool and sexy in that little black number I saw you wearing last year. And I’d rip it off your body so you were stripped down to just your panties. And you’d be so wet ...”

Lois shuddered as his mouth closed over her navel. He dipped his tongue in, tracing around the rim. He could feel her belly moving as her breathing quickened.

He lifted his head again, moving further down, using one hand to prise her thighs apart. He dipped his head once more to leisurely lick her. Lois grabbed onto the headboard, her muttering incoherent, clearly fighting not to cry out.

Clark was conscious of her breathing changing rhythm once again, her breasts rising and falling much quicker this time. He buried his face in her, nose taking in her sweet scent, her taste almost addictive.

He lifted his head and looked at her once more.

“You taste almost like honeydew,” he said.

Lois was straining, the headboard almost cracking.

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” she said.

If she was still that coherent, then he must be doing something wrong, he decided. He resumed licking her, pausing briefly to thrust his tongue inside her. Lois’ legs shifted on the bed, part of her trying to pull away while the other clearly wanting more.


Clark ignored her cry, thrusting deeper. Lois’ began to squirm on the bed, her moans becoming increasingly less coherent until finally she was shuddering beneath him.

Clark grinned mischievously as he moved back up the bed.

“Now who’s naughty?” Lois croaked. “That was evil. It was also cheating.”

“Cheating how?”

“I’m sure you used your super powers on me.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he returned.

Lois surged up, capturing his lips with hers as she pushed him down onto the mattress. Clark lay back as she began kissing him, laying a wet trail down his torso. He gasped when she took his hard member in her hand, her grip firm.

“What do you want?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

“Think I’m going to answer that?” he asked, grunting as she squeezed just a little harder. “Tell me what you’d like to do.”

“Oh no, no, no,” she laughed. “You started this game.”

“Lois,” he said warningly.

“Clark,” she returned in the same tone. “C’mon,” she added. “Talk dirty to me. Tell me what you like.”

Lord, she could be stubborn. Well, so could he. And there was no way he was going to give in to this. But the more she stroked him, the harder it was for him to resist her. She knew exactly what she was doing with one hand on his shaft, the other stroking his perineum.

“Ungh!” he moaned.

“Say something baby?” she said, laughter in her voice.

She was evil. There was no other word for it. Lois Lane was evil.

“Keep that up Lane, and I might just have to punish you,” he told her.

“Ahh, you’re all talk, Luthor,” she answered.

“Oh yeah? Come up here and say that,” he told her.

“Oh no, this is too much fun,” she said, still stroking him.

He stifled a gasp when she leaned down and licked him, then lifted her head and gazed back at him, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

That did it! Payback time, he growled. He sat up and grabbed her, tossing her onto the bed. Lois tried to push him away, and he grabbed her wrists, pushing them above her head. Lois was laughing, but her laughter quickly died when he kissed her hard. As soon as he let her wrists go, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into her to deepen the kiss.

Clark entered her again. Lois gasped at the sudden thrust inside her but she was soon moaning, wrapping her legs around him, crossing them at the ankles behind his back.

When he finally came, he collapsed on the bed beside her.

“Ugh! I think somebody wore me out,” he complained.

“Speak for yourself,” Lois mumbled, snuggling into him.

Clark wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in closer. He kissed the tip of her nose.

“I love you,” he said softly.

Lois muttered something sleepily which he took for a reply. He stroked her back softly until he fell asleep.



( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 12th, 2012 01:57 pm (UTC)
Absolutely AWESOME!!!!
Feb. 12th, 2012 05:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon
Feb. 12th, 2012 10:54 pm (UTC)
Good lord woman my monitor melted!!! Lucky lois!
Feb. 12th, 2012 10:58 pm (UTC)
For the purposes of this chapter, the part of Lois will be played by Carol.

As for the melting monitor, *handing over bottle of spray designed to unmelt monitors* here you go.

Glad you loved the chapter Carol. *hugs*
Feb. 13th, 2012 12:22 am (UTC)
*spits out ice tea*

ROFL Thank you!!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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