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The Truth About Men and Women 33/74

Author: Phoenixnz
Fandom: Smallville
Genre: Romcom,Drama, movie knock-off, AU
Rating: R (for innuendo, although there may be smut later)
Pairing: Clark Luthor/Lois Lane
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, not even the AU ones, or the movie this one is based on. Some situations from the movie The Ugly Truth are borrowed for effect, but with a Smallville spin on them.
Feedback: Yesh pleash
Art: dream_infinity0

Summary: Lois Lane is a dedicated journalist. So dedicated in fact that she has trouble with relationships. She is mortified when cable show host and womaniser Clark Luthor joins the Daily Planet as a columnist and he begins teaching her the truth about male/female relationships. From his angle anyway.


Chapter Thirty-Three

Lois noticed through the interview that Mayson kept looking at Clark and she drew closer to him as if to give the woman a message – ‘hands off’. Not that she was going to forgive Clark. Not yet.

Clark had given her a damn good scare the night before. When she’d seen his reaction to Morgan Edge, and then the Kryptonite bullet in his shoulder, she had realised that he wasn’t completely invulnerable. She had never seen someone go down so fast the way he had.

They needed to talk. She wanted to know more about where he was from and what his abilities were. So far she knew about the x-ray vision, and she suspected he had the ability to generate heat of some kind. But the how and what were still a mystery to her.

She listened as Lex presented the evidence to Mayson. Lex was an extremely articulate man and he made a good case to the assistant district attorney. And by the end of it, Mayson confirmed that they did have a case. She was going to present the information to a judge to execute search warrants on both Atlantis and the Windgate. Police would arrest Morgan that day as well. If they could find him.

Lex nodded graciously as Mayson began to make moves to leave.

“Thank you for your time, Ms Drake.”

“Thank you, Mr Luthor. We’ve been trying to get Morgan Edge on a number of crimes for years and this has been the break we’ve needed. My condolences on the death of your sister.”

Lois noted Mayson mentioned nothing about Lionel, but then again, the man’s death had been a year ago.

“Speaking of whom,” Lex said, “we need to leave ourselves. The service will be starting in an hour.”

Mayson nodded. “Of course.” She turned and looked at Clark and Lois placed a hand on his arm. “If you can think of anything else, or if you have any questions, please call my office.”

Clark nodded, his lips quirking in a little smile. He clearly knew what Lois was doing.

As soon as Mayson and Pete were gone, Lois took her hand away. Clark reached for her.

“Don’t even think about it, buster. And don’t you breathe one word about Mayson Drake.”

“Jealous, Lois?”

Lois growled at him. “You wish!” She turned away. “If you don’t mind, I have something to do before I leave for Tess’ service.”

“I thought we’d go together?” Clark asked. “Since Lex has provided a limo for us.”

Lois ignored him and went to the door. As she left the office she heard Lex’s remark.

“Man, are you in the doghouse.”

“What am I supposed to do, crawl on my hands and knees and apologise?” Clark asked.

“Fly. It’s faster.”

Lois suppressed a giggle, but part of her was curious about Lex’s comment. Clark could fly?

She went to her office, but she really had nothing left to do. She’d just wanted time away from Clark. Away from his puppy dog expression. Next thing she knew he would be whining and humping her leg or something. She sighed, chewing on her thumb nail.

She loved Clark. She really did. But sometimes he was just so pigheaded about things. So what if he wanted to protect her. Breaking up wasn’t the way to do it.

Lena came in and plopped down on the other chair, sighing heavily. She was wearing a black pinafore dress that looked far too sombre for a little girl her age.

“What’s wrong honey?” Lois asked.

Lena shrugged. “How come you’re still mad at Uncle Clark?”

“How do you know I’m still mad at Uncle Clark?”

“Cos I heard him and Daddy talking this morning.”

“Oh sweetie, I just ... look your Uncle and I just have a few things we need to sort out. But with everything else going on ...”

“I know. Daddy’s really sad about Aunt Tess. He said Uncle Lucas was the one who hurt her. Are they going to arrest Uncle Lucas?”

“Probably. Why?”

“Cause I think he’s mean.”

“Yeah, he is.” Lois glanced at her watch. “Hey, why aren’t you with your Dad and Uncle Clark? They’re supposed to be leaving for the service.”

“Daddy said the limo would be waiting outside at a quarter to.”

“It’s almost that now.” Lois stood up and took the little girl’s hand. “Come on. We’ll go down to the limo.”

“Lois?” Lena asked as they walked out.

“Yeah honey?”

“Are you gonna marry Uncle Clark?”

“Well, I don’t know honey. It’s too early to tell.”

“It’s just ... I mean, I know he has Daddy, but he really likes you, and he’s really sorry for what he did. It’s just ... well, he told Daddy that, you know, because he’s different, it’s hard to find someone who makes him feel like he belongs. And he always thought he’d be alone. And then he met you and he didn’t feel so alone.”

“When did he say this honey?”

“Um, today.”

Out of the mouths of babes, Lois thought. She might only have known the truth about Clark a couple of days, but she had never really considered that he might feel cut off from everyone else because of his differences.

That still didn’t change what had happened between her and Clark. And she wasn’t about to let it go in a hurry.

Lex was standing outside the limo looking anxious, but he relaxed when he saw Lena.

“There you are,” he said. “I was getting worried. Are you coming with us, Lois?”

“Sure,” she said. “May as well.”

Lena was still holding her hand and practically dragged her into the limo. Clark was sitting in the corner, looking out the window, but he turned and looked at her as she got in. He opened his mouth to say something but she deliberately looked away. Lois made sure she sat the furthest away from him. Lena sat beside her.

Lex glanced from Lois to Clark and nodded briefly. Lois frowned at him and he sighed.

“You two really need to start communicating,” he said. “I don’t want any fights. Not today.”

“Don’t worry, Lex. I have no intention of starting something I can’t finish,” Clark said, his green eyes flashing.

“Speak for yourself,” Lois mumbled. He looked at her and she guessed he’d heard her.

The ride to the cemetery chapel was silent. Lois just didn’t know what to say to Clark without it escalating into an argument. And that was the last thing Lex needed.

She held Lena’s hand as they walked into the chapel. It seemed that Lena wanted everyone close, and Lois couldn’t blame her. She sighed. The last time she’d been to a funeral service had been when her mother had died. She’d felt the same way as Lena did right now.

Lois was surprised to see Oliver there, looking handsome in a black suit and white shirt.

“Hi. I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said as he hugged Lena.

“Yeah, I knew Tess. It was a few years ago, but we dated briefly.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

Oliver sighed. “This is one hell of a mess,” he told her as Lena wandered over to where her father was talking with the minister.

“Tell me about it.” Lois noticed Clark watching her and she turned away from him.

“I can see you’re still mad at him. Look, Legs, I don’t want to sound like I’m interfering, but you have to give the guy a break. I mean, if there’s one thing that this has taught all of us, it’s that life is too short to hold a grudge.”

“You don’t understand, Ollie.”

“No, I think I understand perfectly. You want to punish him. He’s not perfect. But then, are you?”

“I ...” Lois stared after him for a moment as he went to talk to Clark. She sighed.

It was bugging her. Maybe she was being a bit too harsh with him. After all, she had been scared too. She had dated other guys, but no one had ever affected her the way Clark did. That was why it had hurt so badly when he had walked out on her.

A hand touched her arm and she looked around, surprised to see Mayson Drake.

“I thought I’d come and pay my respects,” Mayson said. “Uh, I know this isn’t the most appropriate time, but I ... look, do you want to meet me for coffee afterward? I wanted to talk to you. About something personal.”

Lois frowned at the blonde. “Um, okay. After the service. I think Clark and Lex are just going to be at the burial. Private family thing. You know.”

Mayson nodded. “Looks like they’re starting.” She went to find a seat in the back of the chapel.

Lois sat between Lena and Clark. He glanced at her but said nothing. She glanced around, surprised to see the turnout. It seemed Tess had been very popular.

The service was simple, with the minister offering an opportunity for people who knew Tess to come up and speak. A few employees at Luthorcorp spoke warmly of a bright, gregarious woman who had been more than a boss.

Lois had half expected Lex to get up, but she supposed he felt he hadn’t really known Tess well enough to say anything.

With the eulogies over, the minister ended the service with a prayer, then nodded to an assistant.

“I believe this was one of Tess’ favourite songs,” he said. “Thank you all for coming.”

Lois felt the tears well in her eyes as she listened to the words.

Winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
Haven’t seen the sun for weeks
Too long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
Never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this
Full of grace, full of grace, my love

And Lois felt Clark’s hand, warm and strong over her own as he squeezed gently. She turned her hand and squeezed back, not sure if he would feel it, but he seemed to understand, quietly handing over a Kleenex. He smiled gently as she sniffed.

It was as she was standing to walk with him out of the chapel when she heard him give a disgusted snort. She looked in the direction he was staring at and gasped.

“What the hell?”

Lucas was standing in the entryway with Cat Grant.

Clark let go of her hand and strode angrily over toward Lucas. He spotted Clark and said something quickly to Cat, then ran out of the chapel, Clark in pursuit. Lois started after him but Cat caught her arm.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Why did Clark run out of here like ...”

“What’s wrong?” Lois asked Cat. “Do you even know who that was?”

“Yes, he’s Lucas. He’s this guy I’ve been seeing!”

Lois scoffed. “My god, Cat, how can you be so naive.”

“What? What did I do?”

“He’s the guy we think murdered Tess!”

Cat stared at her, wide-eyed. “But I ...”

Lois pushed her away. “Forget it, Cat. Just get out of the way!”

She ran down the chapel steps, looking frantically around for Clark. She didn’t have to look far. He was collapsed on the grass, his skin pale, his chest heaving.


“He’s gone, Lois,” Clark said. “Goddamn it. He had ...” Clark looked around. Lex and Oliver were running toward them. “He had Kryptonite. I couldn’t stop him.”

Lois saw the rock on the ground. It was glowing green. She didn’t know much about meteor rock, but clearly it had a debilitating effect on Clark.

“It’s okay, Clark,” Lex said. “Let’s get you up.”

Between them, Lex and Oliver supported Clark. Once they were far enough away from the meteor rock, Clark recovered. Lois looked around for Lena. To her relief, the redhead was standing with Cat, watching. Cat appeared to be in shock. She came down the steps.

“Lois, I didn’t ... I mean ...”

Lois shook her head. “Lex, I think you may have found your leak.”

“Yeah, I figured. Cat, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I ... Mr Luthor, I’m sorry, I didn’t know ...”

“How long, Cat? How long have you been feeding him information?”

“I only met him a couple of weeks ago. Honest. He seemed so nice! I can’t believe he killed Miss Mercer!”

“We don’t have any proof of that, yet,” Oliver told her.

Cat peered at him with a questioning look. Lex sighed.

“Oliver Queen, Cat Grant.”

“Hi,” she said.

“What did you tell Lucas?” Lex asked. “This is very important Cat.”

“I overheard Clark and Lois talking about your bodyguard and how she would be at the fair on Saturday with them, watching over Lena. That’s it, I swear!”

Lois bit her lip. Lex had said he would fire the person who had leaked the information to Lucas, thus putting his daughter in danger. She wondered if he was going to fire Cat and she took him aside.

“Lex, I know what you said the other day, but I don’t think Cat did this intentionally.”

“Her actions put Lena in danger, Lois.”

“I know,” she said, “but Cat’s naive. She just trusted the wrong person, that’s all.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” he said. He turned back to the young blonde. “Cat, I want to see you in my office on my return. Oliver, would you do me a favour and take Lena with you?”

“Sure, Lex. C’mon kiddo.” Lena took his hand and seemed happy enough to go with him.

Lex turned back to Lois. “Uh, Clark and I are staying for the burial. Do you want to wait or go with Ollie?”

“Actually, Mayson Drake wanted to talk to me about something, so I’ll catch a ride with her,” Lois explained.

Lex frowned at her, but said nothing. Clark caught his brother’s arm.

“Lex, I would rather go after Lucas.”

“Clark, normally, I’d agree with you, but Lucas knows how to kill you, so I’d rather you didn’t.”

“I agree with Lex,” Lois said. Clark frowned at her and looked like he wanted to object. She grasped his arm. “Clark, you were shot last night. I’d really rather it not happen again.”

He sighed. “Okay, fine. Will you be okay, Lois?”

She nodded. “I’m just going to go for coffee with Mayson.”

“We’ll see you back at the office,” Lex said.

Lois watched them go, knowing exactly how Clark was feeling. If she ever got her hands on Lucas, she would strangle him. Or something.

Mayson was waiting for her and she walked with the blonde to her car.

“You seem very close to the family,” Mayson commented.

“Well, Clark and I have been working on the story together.”

“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about,” Mayson said as she drove away from the cemetery. “How well do you really know Clark?”

“Well enough. We’re ... sort of dating.”

Mayson glanced at her with a frown. “Sort of dating?”

“Well, we’re not, right now. Just, uh, some issues we need to discuss.”

“Oh.” Mayson was silent for a few minutes as she drove in the city traffic. “Uh, so where do you want to have coffee?”

“There’s a cafe not far from the Planet.”

“Great,” the assistant DA said.

Lois wondered what Mayson wanted to tell her, but Mayson kept the conversation to small talk until she parked near the cafe. They went in and ordered coffees.

“Lois, look, don’t take this the wrong way, but you do know Clark’s got a reputation, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course. You make it sound like you know Clark fairly well yourself.”

Mayson looked uncomfortable. “Uh, well, I ...” She blushed and looked away. “I slept with him. When I was still in law school.”

Cue the climactic beat, Lois thought. No wonder Mayson had been staring at Clark during the meeting.

“Mayson,” Lois began, but was interrupted by the waitress putting the coffees on the table.

“I know you think I’m warning you off him,” Mayson said, stirring sugar into her coffee. “It’s just ... well, for two people who are sort of dating, you don’t look very happy together.”

“Like I said, there are some issues. We’ve kind of been fighting. Well, it’s not a fight, exactly, it’s ... complicated.”

“Aren’t they all?” Mayson sighed. “Um, what about Lex? What’s his story? I know he was living in Europe until about a year ago. I guess he came back when his father died. But why did he leave?”

“Lex found out he had a daughter. He left to protect her from Lionel.”

“That little girl with him – that’s his daughter?”

Lois nodded, sipping her coffee. “Lena. She’s such a sweet kid. They’re really very close. I mean, Lex has practically raised her single-handedly.”

“What about Lena’s mother?”

“Lex doesn’t really talk about her, but I know they were married. Why are you so interested?”

Mayson leaned forward. “It’s a total conflict of interest, but, is Lex seeing anyone?”

“No. No, he’s not.”

Lois stared at the woman. Mayson wasn’t interested in Clark, she was interested in Lex!

“Oh,” Mayson said. “Well, that’s ... that’s good.” She was silent for a few moments as she sipped her coffee. “The cops have a warrant for Lucas’ arrest as well as Edge,” she told Lois. “I thought you should know.”

“What about the Joker?” Lois asked. “He’s still on the loose.”

“They’re doing their best to find him, but he hasn’t been seen since you and Lena were kidnapped. The Toyman’s in custody, but he’s not talking.”

“Figures,” Lois sniffed. She leaned forward. “I really wish I could be there when Edge is interrogated.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel. There are a lot of people in law enforcement who want to see Edge go down for this. They’ve been trying for years to get him on various things, but he’s always managed to get out of it. It’s like nothing sticks. But we have the tape now and I personally think it’ll be enough for a conviction.”

“I hope so.”

“Otherwise, I’m hoping the search of his premises will turn up some interesting things. Do you know how they got Al Capone in the end?”

Lois shook her head. She wasn’t up on her mob history.

“Tax evasion,” Mayson told her. “Can you believe that? The guy was responsible for god knows how many deaths, not to mention the smuggling and bootlegging during Prohibition. And they get him for tax evasion.”

“Yeah, well, let’s hope we can get Edge on more than that.”

“It’s a good thing Lionel’s dead, because he would have faced some serious questions. Whatever possessed the man to record the conversation?”

“From what the guys tell me, Lionel was a manipulative bastard. It sounds like just the kind of sneaky, underhanded thing he’d do, so if he ever needed to hold one over on Edge, he could threaten to use the tape. Probably ask for immunity or something.”

“How a man like that ever became a corporate mogul ... then again, it’s probably not a big surprise, is it? I’m glad to see his sons – well, Lex and Clark at least, didn’t turn out like him.”

“Yeah,” Lois said.

Of course, she thought, Mayson didn’t know the half of it, and Lois wasn’t about to enlighten her on that issue.

By the time Lois got back to the office, it was late afternoon. She thought about going up to Lex’s office to find out what had happened with Cat, but as she stopped in her office to drop off her bag, she saw Clark sitting in the corner. He looked up when she came in.

“Lois, look, I know you’re still upset with me, but I need you to hear me out. I know you don’t understand why I walked out yesterday, but I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Lois stopped him, waving her hand. “I get all that. You got scared. I’m scared too, Clark. And we will talk about that, but there’s something I need to ask you.”


“Mayson Drake.”

Clark frowned. “What about her?”

“You slept with her.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her, looking confused. “What? No, I didn’t.”

“She says you did. It was when she was still in law school.”

Clark’s frown deepened. “I ... Are you sure?”

“She seems to be. God, Clark, how many women have you been with that you forget one you’ve slept with.”

Clark had the grace to look ashamed. “Lois, I ... you’re right. When did she say this happened?”

“Well, she’s been working for the DA’s office for about four years.”

Clark’s expression suggested he was racking his brains trying to remember, then it was as if a light switch had been turned on in his brain.

“Oh,” was all he said. “Um, yeah, I remember now. She, uh, was brunette then. It was about five years ago, or maybe six. Around the time Lana dumped me.”

“Why did Lana dump you?”

Clark shrugged. “Some of it was because I wouldn’t be straight with her, especially about my powers, but mostly because I was horrible to her.” He sighed. “I have to admit that if I had had even one ounce for her of the feelings that I have for you, I might have treated her better. Fought Lionel and his brainwashing about love and emotion a bit harder. I was training with my birth father then and Lana got so pissed at me she trashed my apartment. I guess I deserved it.”

“Your birth father?” Lois frowned at him. “I thought your birth parents were dead?”

“Uh, they are. It’s a long story and I know I owe you some explanations, but I’d really prefer to discuss this somewhere private.”

“Fine. You can cook me dinner at your apartment,” Lois told him.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 1st, 2012 03:25 am (UTC)
Great chapter! Happy New year Honey *HUGS*
Jan. 1st, 2012 03:34 am (UTC)
Thanks Carol. Happy New Year back.
Jan. 1st, 2012 03:39 pm (UTC)
Happy New Year honey!!

LOVE this new chapter!!
Jan. 1st, 2012 09:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you honey. Happy New Year back.
Jan. 2nd, 2012 02:27 am (UTC)
great chapter once again
Jan. 2nd, 2012 02:38 am (UTC)
I'm glad you like it hon.
(Deleted comment)
May. 15th, 2012 06:44 am (UTC)
Well, it was Monday where you are, but it's Tuesday for me :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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