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The Truth About Men and Women 15/74

Author: phoenixnz
Fandom: Smallville
Genre: Romcom,Drama, movie knock-off, AU
Rating: R (for innuendo, although there may be smut later)
Pairing: Clark Luthor/Lois Lane
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, not even the AU ones, or the movie this one is based on. Some situations from the movie The Ugly Truth are borrowed for effect, but with a Smallville spin on them.
Feedback: Yesh pleash
Art: dream_infinity0

Summary: Lois Lane is a dedicated journalist. So dedicated in fact that she has trouble with relationships. She is mortified when cable show host and womaniser Clark Luthor joins the Daily Planet as a columnist and he begins teaching her the truth about male/female relationships. From his angle anyway.


Chapter Fifteen

Lois sat in the club with Oliver, sipping her glass of white wine. Oliver had talked a lot about his past, including the deaths of his parents when he was nine and how he had rebuilt his father’s company after nearly losing it a few years ago.

“So how do you know Clark?” she asked.

“We were at boarding school together.”

Lois frowned. “How could ... I mean, aren’t you older than Clark?”

She remembered reading somewhere that Oliver was around Lex’s age.

“Yes, but Clark is a certified genius,” Oliver told her. “When he started at Excelsior he was only a few grades below Lex and I.”

“So you became friends?” Lois asked.

Oliver smiled.

“Well, no, not right away. You see, I was kind of a spoilt brat in those days. Mind you, Lex and Clark weren’t any better. Lex kind of resented the fact that Lionel held him back but he let Clark do pretty much what he wanted. Within reason, anyway. So we didn’t really get along. At least, not until this kid we all knew came close to being killed in an accident. Clark ... well, Clark helped him. I mean, he was only nine at the time, but even then he was pretty tall for his age.”

“So what happened? How did that change things between you?”

“Lionel. He bawled out Clark for being stupid. Lex jumped to his defence and I got behind Lex.”

Lionel sounded like a real peach of a man. It was little wonder, then, that Clark was as arrogant as he was sometimes. Lois was sure if her father had been the same way, she might have grown up acting as spoiled as Clark.

“I have to admit I’m surprised to find Clark is working at the Daily Planet,” Oliver continued. “Not that he isn’t a good writer. It’s just ... well, he doesn’t really need to work. I mean, his cable show is doing all right, but he has enough money that he doesn’t need a job.”

“So he should be ... what, a playboy?”

Oliver grinned, sipping his scotch. “It’s not like he doesn’t already have that reputation.”

Lois suddenly found herself defending Clark.

“Well, maybe he has his reasons for working at the Planet. And he is a good writer. You know, just because Lex owns the company it doesn’t mean Clark used that to get the job. He actually works hard. Something you could probably learn a lot from.”

“Whoa!” Oliver said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Sounds to me like you’ve got a case as bad as Clark’s.”

Lois frowned at him. “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“Nothing, forget I said anything.” He shifted in his seat. “Enough about Clark. Tell me about you.”

“What do you want to know?” she asked. “That your research hasn’t already dug up?” She smiled smugly.

Oliver raised his glass. “Touche, Miss Lane.”

Lois let him ask questions, now feeling like one of the men she’d often gone out with, especially when she’d pulled out her notebook and rattled off a list of subjects she’d thought would make good conversation starters. But even as she talked with Oliver, she found herself thinking about Clark, and something Oliver had said.

She wondered if Oliver was right. Did she have feelings for Clark? More to the point, did Clark have feelings for her?

When Oliver dropped her off home a couple of hours later, she got ready for bed, still thinking about that conversation. She barely tolerated Clark, didn’t she? So why had she felt the need to defend Clark’s actions, especially to the man who was supposedly his best friend.

Clark was still very much an enigma to her and that had her thinking that she really didn’t know him. That was something she decided she needed to fix.

When she got into work the next morning, she called her cousin.

“’Lo?” Chloe said sleepily.

“Hey, it’s me. Did I wake you?”

Lois heard a man’s voice muttering and complaining and she felt a flush grow on her cheeks. Chloe said something which was muffled and Lois couldn’t quite make it out. Chloe came back to the phone.

“Shit, sorry cuz. I guess I called at a bad time.”

“No, it’s okay,” Chloe said, sounding a little more alert. “What’s up?”

“I needed to ask you something. About Clark.”

“What about him?”

“Well, do you know what happened between him and, what was her name? Lana?”

“No, I don’t know, Lois. Sorry. What’s going on? Are you and Clark ...”

“No, god no,” she said hastily. “I was just curious, that’s all.”

“I wish I could help Lo, but sorry, we weren’t even friends. All I know is, Lana dumped him and ever since then he’s become a total womaniser.” She paused. “You know, if you really want the answer, then I suggest you go directly to the source.”

“I can’t do that,” she said. “I wouldn’t want him to think I was, you know, interested.”

“From what I hear of Clark’s reputation, he’ll think that anyway,” Chloe laughed. “Listen, cuz, I’d like to sit and chat, but it’s my day off and I have plans. Give me a call next week and we’ll talk, okay?”

“Sure cuz. Sorry for waking you.”

“It’s okay. Looks like somebody thinks it’s a perfect opportunity for, well, you know.”

“Ugh, too much information cuz,” Lois groaned.

She hung up from her cousin, chuckling. She missed Chloe, but clearly her cousin was very happy in Gotham and Lois wasn’t about to object.

She thought for a while about the problem. She clearly couldn’t go to the source. It was doubtful Clark would tell her anything anyway. And finding Lana Lang was going to be problematic.

Lois sat back, sighing. This wasn’t getting any work done and she had no doubt Clark would come in at any time, asking her how the ‘date’ went. Although, could it technically have been called a date when it was just drinks?

And speak of the devil, she thought, as Clark strolled into her office.

“Morning,” he said cheerily.


His expression showed exasperation at the coolness of her tone. But he seemed to ignore it, sprawling in the chair.

“So, how did it go last night?”

“Fine,” she said shortly. Then she thought better. “Actually it was great,” she amended, hoping he wouldn’t catch her in the lie. “He seems a nice guy.”

“He is,” Clark said. He leaned forward, appearing interested. “Did he ask you out again?”

Lois grimaced. Actually, he hadn’t. Story of her life, really. But she said nothing to Clark.

“So, I guess this means I’ve won the bet,” she said hopefully.

Clark grinned at her. “Hell no. Did you forget the terms of the bet?”

“What terms?”

“First, you have to do the asking. Second, it’s Friday night. What goes before is irrelevant.”

Crap! He was right, damn it! Which meant she would have to ask Oliver out. And after last night, she wasn’t sure he would accept. Not that it hadn’t been good. It just wasn’t great. There had been no signs at all of second date potential.

Clark was standing up and she looked at him.

“We need to go talk to Lex about this latest development in the story,” he said.

“Oh. You mean because of Lucas? Just what happened between you guys?”

“You mean aside from the fact that our brother’s a psycho?”

Lois looked at Clark, wondering if he was kidding. But from the expression on his face, she realised he wasn’t.

“You really mean that, don’t you?” she said.

“Afraid so.”

“What did Lucas do that was so bad?” she asked.

“A few years ago he got mixed up with these lowlifes. They found out that Lucas was Lionel’s illegitimate son and they thought they could use that to their advantage. And Lucas didn’t even have the sense to realise the danger he was in. Or if he did, he didn’t care. He took them on, killed them and didn’t even bat an eye.”

“Why is he out on the street?” Lois asked.

“Because Dad vouched for him. As far as Lionel was concerned, Lucas was a chip off the old block.”

“That bites!” Lois said.

“Yeah. Lex doesn’t trust him and neither do I. We don’t have anything to do with him and he doesn’t have anything to do with us and that’s the way we like it.”

“So, if he’s involved with this consortium ...”

“That’s what worries me,” Clark told her. “I mean, you know Lionel was involved with a lot of criminal activity. Although, we both know that we could never actually prove Lionel’s involvement. Lex and I figured out years ago that Lionel had his parents murdered for the insurance money and he used an old friend of his to do it.”

Lois realised they had stopped walking and she looked up. They were outside Lex’s office. Clark opened the door to the outer office and nodded at Lex’s executive assistant.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t ...” she began.

“This is important Anna,” Clark told her.

Lois followed as Clark knocked briefly on Lex’s door and went in. Lex looked up, frowning. He looked as if he’d been in a heavy discussion with the redheaded woman who was now standing beside the huge plate-glass window.

“Clark, I was in a meeting,” Lex began.

“Sorry, but this is important,” Clark said. “It’s about Lucas.”

Lex cocked an eyebrow at him, then glanced at the redhead. Lois wondered what the looks exchanged between them meant.

“I should get out of the way,” the woman said.

“No, wait a minute Tess. If this is about Lucas, then it concerns you too.”

Lois saw Clark frown, looking from Tess to Lex and back again.

“What’s going on, Lex?”

Lex seemed to flush guiltily.

“Look, I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure. Not until we had the DNA results.”

“DNA?” Clark asked, sinking down into the plush leather chair beside Lex’s desk. “Don’t tell me ... another one of Lionel’s ‘mistakes’?”

Lex closed his eyes briefly. “Yeah. Sorry, Clark, I only found out about this a couple of months ago myself, and it took time for the results to come through.” He waved a hand toward Tess. “Tess Mercer, meet Clark, your brother. Although technically, Clark’s not a blood relative, since he was adopted.”

“I know the story, Lex,” Tess said softly. “Hello Clark. I’m sorry we’re meeting under these circumstances.”

“Who ...?” Clark began. “What?”

“Believe me,” Tess answered, sitting down on the couch, “this is just as much a shock to me as it is to both of you.”

Lois saw Tess flick her a brief glance, but common sense told her to say nothing for the time being.

“How did we not know?” Clark asked.

“That’s the whole point, Clark. I knew,” Lex said. “Well, in a way, I suppose ... it’s all very complicated, but Tess’ mother was Pamela. Remember the woman who used to help Mom with accounts?”

Clark nodded.

“When I was five years old I was sent to live in an orphanage. I think that must have been about the time Lionel adopted you,” Tess answered. “I was adopted by a couple who took me to live with them in Louisiana. My father ... my adoptive father, was a drunk and .... but that’s neither here nor there.”

“How did you find out?” Clark asked, sounding a little hoarse.

“I was going through some of Dad’s papers and I found a birth certificate. For a Lutessa Luthor. And the mother’s name on the certificate was Pam’s.” Lex leaned forward. “There’s more. The same time I went to Europe, Lionel found Tess and hired her. He was slowly grooming her to take over should I refuse to take my place at his side. And Lionel was dealing with the consortium when he died.”

Lois frowned. There was something not right about all this.

“When you say ‘dealing’, you don’t mean he was working with them, do you?”

Lex seemed to see her for the first time. “Lois, forgive me. Tess, this is Lois Lane. She’s an investigative reporter. In fact, Perry says she’s the ‘best damned investigative reporter’ he’s ever seen. She and Clark are working together on the story.”

“Hello,” Tess said. “I’ve read a lot of your work Miss Lane. And you are good.”

“Thank you,” Lois said. “And please call me Lois.” She turned back to Lex. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I think Tess can answer that better than I can,” Lex said.

“You’re right. Lionel wasn’t working with the consortium. He was trying to drive them out. The one thing Lionel didn’t like was competition.”

“But of course the consortium had some people high up. Like the mayor,” Lois answered. “Which meant Lionel was no longer the biggest game in town.”

“About a month before Lionel died, he was approached by a member of the consortium. He had to be either with them, or against them,” Tess said. “They told Lionel that if he continued to block them, then he would ‘regret it’. It just got dirtier and dirtier until ...”

“Lionel dies of a heart attack,” Clark said.

Lex looked at his brother. “I’m having Lionel’s body exhumed and examined by experts in forensics.”

Lois found her heart pounding. “You’re thinking Lionel was murdered!”

Lex nodded soberly. “Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?” he asked.

“We think Lucas is involved with the consortium,” Clark told him. “A source found some documents signed by an ‘L Luthor’. Dated after Lionel’s death.”

“I think you’re right, Clark. I think Lucas is involved.”

“Question is, how do we find him and how do we prove it? Lucas is legally known as Dunleavy, not Luthor.”

Lois looked at Clark. “I think we just need to do this systematically. Talk to some sources on the street. Find out where Lucas might be hiding. And we should wait for the results of the forensic tests before we go making any decision about Lionel.”

Lex nodded as he looked at her.

“You’re the investigative reporter, Lois. And in that case, I choose to bow to the expert on this one.”

Lois smiled briefly.

“Maybe we also need to find this Winslow Schott guy. My guess is, if his ego is as big as I think it is, then he will be desperate to shoot his mouth off.”

“I think I know where we can start then,” Clark said. “I’ll call my source and get him to send us as much information as he has on Schott.”

“Then we have a game plan,” Lex said. “Tess, I need you to get us as much information as you can on what Lionel was working on a year ago. That might help us narrow down what this consortium is up to and why they wanted Lionel out of the picture.”

“I’ll get right on it,” Tess nodded, smiling.

It was totally inappropriate, but Lois almost felt like she was at a strategy meeting for a high school football game. And she was the coach.

As she left the office with Clark, she felt a warmth steal over her. It was the same feeling she always got right before she broke a big story.
Clark grinned at her.

“Is this how it always feels for you?” he asked as they stood in the lift waiting for it to descend to her floor.

“What do you mean?” she enquired.

“Like a huge buzz. Almost like adrenaline.”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

Clark’s grin grew wider. “Well, I like it. It’s almost as good as sex.”

Lois rolled her eyes. He had to go and ruin a great moment with a throwaway remark like that.

“Is everything about sex with you?” she asked in exasperation.

Suddenly, Clark had her pushed up against the wall. He was leaning casually, close enough to be in her face, but not so close that she couldn’t get away if she wanted to. The trouble was, she wasn’t sure she did want to. She found herself looking deep into his green eyes, thinking how very like Crater Lake they were.

His lips were so close that Lois thought he might be about to kiss her. She fought the urge to lick suddenly dry lips, not wanting to give him an open invitation.

“Do you know you’re sexy when you get all excited?” he said softly.

Lois felt the dull flush creep into her cheeks. She tried to slow her breathing down, but his nearness was making it almost impossible. She could smell his cologne and the earthy pine scent of the soap he’d used in the shower that morning. And something that was so raw, so Clark. She was dizzy, breathless, desperate for him to kiss her.

Not even Oliver Queen had made her feel like this, she thought, as his lips claimed hers. And it was everything she had imagined it to be. Warm and soft, yet she could feel the hardness of his body pressing into hers. Lois tentatively reached out to touch his muscular torso through the dress shirt he wore. He felt like steel covered in silk. She wanted to know more. To feel every inch of that hard body.

The ding of the lift announcing their arrival on her floor had them breaking apart. Lois quickly straightened up her clothes, touching a hand to the back of her head, making sure every hair was in its place. And just in time, she thought, as the doors opened. Cat was waiting on the other side. She gave Lois an odd look as the two women passed each other, but said nothing.

Saved by the bell, Lois thought.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 21st, 2011 01:35 am (UTC)
Oh sweet Jesus. Kill me more please. I can't express how much I look forward to this story. And TESS!!! I love the way you write the Luthor siblings with just the right amount of competition and mutual affection. But seriously, that Clois kiss was just...*dies*
Oct. 21st, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
Haha, I love that you're enjoying this. There will be more hotness soon.
Oct. 21st, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
great chapter
Oct. 21st, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
thanks hon.
Oct. 21st, 2011 12:19 pm (UTC)
Absolutely LOVE it!!!
(Deleted comment)
May. 14th, 2012 07:35 am (UTC)
Yes I'm on fanfiction, although not all my stories are there, but I have been posting this one there too.
(Deleted comment)
May. 15th, 2012 05:50 am (UTC)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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