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So I applied for another job ...

It was as a reporter for a community paper in the city my mother lives in. Let's face it, I hate Auckland. It stinks and it's far too expensive. I mean I pay nearly $200 a week for a bedsit! What's a bedsit? I hear you asking. It's pretty much a one room apartment, or in our terminology, flat, since it's a really, really old house that's been converted into flats. Anyway, all I have in this flat is a small kitchen, with only one counter top, a bathroom and a big room which is a combined bedroom and everywhere else room. The laundry is shared between five flats and this flat is the smallest one. For what I pay, well, let's just say that in a small town, I could be living in a two-bedroom place for that kind of money.

Anyhoo, I applied for the job and wasn't even shortlisted for the interview. I've been out of the industry for about five years. I quit for mostly personal reasons, although I had intended to go overseas for about three months and I wasn't allowed to take a leave of absence. Okay, I had my own issues, but that's not the point.

So I asked them. Why? Apparently because they had applicants who were still in the industry and more 'up with the play'. I'm really, really, totally PISSED OFF at this (and yes, I do mean the caps). Like who the hell are they to judge how my knowledge compares to other applicants? I'm still working in the real world and I know a hell of a lot more about digital media now than I did five years ago, which was still a lot. Put it this way, in my old job, who did the editor go to when he needed something done on the computer? Me! I knew more about computers than the guys (sorry, men) I worked with. Maybe not as much as the I.T guys but jeezus!!!!!

I'd just about given up on getting back into journalism, so it took a lot for me to even send my application. But do they care? Of course not! Now I know how it felt for a lot of women twenty or thirty years ago who went away to have children only to find their way back into the workforce blocked because they had been 'out of it' for too long.

The thing is, my job is making me absolutely miserable at the moment. I'm just about screaming at my colleagues because I can't stand what I'm doing. I'm in customer service, but, okay, so it's only a small percentage, I get abuse occasionally from customers. I pride myself on building a good rapport with some of these customers and most of them appreciate the fact that I try to go the extra mile for them. I don't demand they pay their bills right there and then, although if they don't they don't get their next delivery ... Even the people who work closest to me have remarked on how polite I am to the customers on the phone, until I get off and start ranting about what idiots I have to deal with. But that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, what's annoying me about my job at the moment is, Christmas is coming and one of the companies we deal with wants to launch a new product right around Christmas. Of course, someone is going to have to look after the phones for people signing up for the product, which means no Christmas break for me. I'll get Christmas Day and Boxing Day and the two days at New Year's but it looks like that's pretty much it. What really pisses me off is my mum's birthday is on the 20th of December. I try to be there for her birthday, or close to it because when she was a kid, she only ever got one present at Christmas time, which was a combined birthday/Christmas. Which really sucked because her sister, who had her birthday on the 16th, always got two presents. So did her dad, who had his birthday on the 18th! I mean, seriously! I know she and her mother didn't get along but that was just cruel!

The point of that is, having lost my dad, my mum means a lot more to me and of course I'm going to spoil her for her birthday. And this year, I've got her something which I hope she'll love. But the way things are going I'm not going to be able to be there. In fact, I won't even get there for Christmas because I refuse to go down on the bus at 7.30pm on Christmas Eve. Sitting in a crowded bus at that time of night for two hours is not my idea of fun. It wouldn't be so bad if the trains were running, but I very much doubt they'll put on a special train just for Christmas Eve. And I don't want to catch the bus at 7.45 on Christmas morning either.

Another thing that has annoyed me is another publisher keeps changing the launch date for another product which is predicted to be a huge seller. First they thought February, then it was March (incidentally the same month as two or three other products) now they're talking May. If it's going to be as busy as they say it is, it will put the kibosh on any plans I had to go to the UK with my mum and step-dad. We can't change the time because the Chelsea Flower show is then and that's what Mum wants to see the most. Even if we got someone else in to help cover the phones, I still wouldn't be able to go because we would need two people.

I hate my life! It's bad enough that I've got to my age and I still haven't achieved what I want. I still owe thousands on my student loan and that's turned out to be a waste of money. I wonder what the universities would do if I asked them for my money back because the degrees I got turned out to be worth nothing but crap.

Sorry for the long rant. I'm tired and depressed and I'm coming this close to just chucking it all in. I just don't want to try anymore. It's too hard!

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Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
bradygirl_12
Oct. 9th, 2013 11:20 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

I know, life just sucks sometimes, doesn't it? And colleges are scam artists! They overcharge drastically and guarantee nothing! >:(

I hope things get better for you, hon. You're always such a cheerful presence here on LJ I know you must be pretty wrung out right now.

*hugs again*
phoenixnz
Oct. 10th, 2013 04:53 am (UTC)
Well you guys keep me sane, that's for sure. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my friends here. *hugs back*
malugargula
Oct. 14th, 2013 04:41 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry things are like this for you right now
:(
But I'm really proud that you had the courage to apply for another job. It's not a decision lots of people have the guts to do.
I hope things get better soon
phoenixnz
Oct. 14th, 2013 04:47 pm (UTC)
It's tough out there for everyone, I think and the hardest thing is trying to get out of your comfort zone as well. Thanks for the support.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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