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I Just Need To Vent


I live in a bedsit where I have my own kitchen and bathroom and one big room for my bed and other stuff. I've lived here two years and it drives me nuts!

There are five flats in this little complex we call our own. Most of us work during the week, although some work later than others. Fine. What drives me nuts about this place is we have one washing machine between five flats. And it breaks down. A lot. It's about twenty years old, although it's apparently been 'reconditioned'.

It's not working and I need to do my washing so I have clothes for work. So far, I've left a message on my landlord's voicemail, but he has yet to return my call. Typical. Okay, it's Sunday, but when the fuck else am I going to do my washing? I try to leave here at 7am to get to work for 8.30 and it's about six when I get home. It's getting lighter at that time of night but still, when there's no light in the laundry ... And I'm usually in bed by 9.30 on a weeknight. I don't have time to do washing then and leave it for the weekend to hang out!

I know what you're thinking. Why don't I just use a laundromat? Well, a, it's half an hour walk away and I don't have a car and b, I really don't see myself lugging three or four loads of washing on a bus.

I hate renting, I hate not having a nice place I can really call my own and I hate not having a car. I also hate living in this city.

I've been thinking about this and I'm really worried for my future. See, even if I continue to work full-time for the next twenty to thirty years, I won't be able to save enough for retirement. At the moment we have a government superannuation scheme but they keep saying it's finite. So I figure by the time I retire at 65 or 70 it won't be there. So even if I save hard, have absolutely no social life and rent for the rest of my life, I still won't save enough to keep me going for the next twenty years.

I hate this. I hate that some people can get good jobs that pay decent money and yet I have two fucking degrees and not one of them has given me the kind of salary that they should attract. I mean, with the qualifications I have behind me, you'd think I would get at least sixty grand a year. After all I have a 'friend' who has no degrees and is pulling in more than sixty grand a year, and she's younger than me!

I'm jinxed. I have to be. Otherwise why would my life suck as much as this?

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Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
ctbn60
Sep. 1st, 2012 09:00 pm (UTC)
sweetie I'm so sorry you feel that way hang in there something going to happen hugs
phoenixnz
Sep. 1st, 2012 09:06 pm (UTC)
Hey, you're back! I'm so glad to hear from you.

Don't mind me, I'm in a foul mood and I'm really depressed.
ctbn60
Sep. 2nd, 2012 01:30 am (UTC)
I'm trying. i pop in and out...lol
bradygirl_12
Sep. 1st, 2012 09:57 pm (UTC)
Been there, hon! *hugs* I know it's tough but hang in there.
phoenixnz
Sep. 2nd, 2012 12:07 am (UTC)
I don't know, I mean, I got my degrees thinking an education would improve my lot, but it's just made it worse in a lot of ways. I'm tired of waiting for that miracle to happen because god knows I've tried everything else.
babydee1
Sep. 1st, 2012 10:55 pm (UTC)
I empathise completely, babes. Hoping and praying that things will improve for you soon. *hugs*
phoenixnz
Sep. 2nd, 2012 12:08 am (UTC)
Thanks for the hug Dee, keeping hoping and praying. :)
svgurl
Sep. 2nd, 2012 08:11 am (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry. It's completely understandable why you are frustrated. More schooling is supposed to help you cement your future and it's not fair that it hasn't worked out that way. I hope things turn around soon though!
phoenixnz
Sep. 2nd, 2012 09:00 am (UTC)
Yeah, NZ is funny that way. Higher education doesn't mean the same thing as the US unless you're a lawyer or doctor or something. Anything else just doesn't attract the same kind of respect.
josephina_x
Sep. 4th, 2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
M'sorry. *hugs*
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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